I saw my surgeon, yesterday about the lumps in my breast. Apparently, TriCare doesn't pay for MRI's on breasts, so we have no recourse but to ignore it for now, or to do a needle biopsy.
With no family history of breast cancer, but a strong history of fibrocystic breasts, I feel no real concern. But, I also know how very quickly breast cancer can spread and become deadly. I asked the surgeon, flat out, if I was his wife, what would he do. He said biopsy. So, I said, let's do it!
I feel such a kinship, right now, with WitchKitty, as she goes through this one step ahead of me. And I have faith that we are both going to be just fine!
My friend, Steve, is all move in from New York, but the way the weather has been, lately, he's kind of wondering if he's back in New York!!
One of my fishing buddies, Joe, just set him up with a new rod and reel, and we are ready to hit the water! LOL You KNOW I'm loving it!
I've been been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and I jotted this down, while I had some time during my son's Doctor appointment, yesterday...
I've generally felt that people create their own happiness withing the confines of their own realities. And, for the most part, I still believe that's true.
I have learned, over the span of many years of difficult, and often painful, circumstances, how to find or create happy moments in the world around me. God's wonder surrounds me and I continually seek it out.
Things have changed for me recently, however, in a such a dramatic way,that I have given a great deal of thought to hapiness.
It is true that no one can make me happy. No one else can force me to feel something I don't allow them to inflict upon me.
But, we've all been affected by people in our lives who seem to illicit strong emotion from us, whatever that emotion may be.
I have spent more years than I care to acknowledge in a state of anxiety, often times not even realizing it. Funny how it creeps in and blackens your soul.
Recently I have found myself more happy and at peace than I can recall being my entire adult life. I'm not sure if I should mourn the wasted years or rejoice in the ones to come.
As I share my special places that bring me peace and solitude, I find those places hold much less beauty than they used to. The beauty is suddenly held in sharing these places dear to me with one who yearns to join me in this part of my world.
In these moments, it dawned on me one day that I was neither seeking happiness, nor was it being forced upon me. I was simply being enveloped by it. I feel the blackness being swept from my soul and I am at home in my own skin for the very first time.
