Firstly I want to apologize for not writing yesterday but hey it happens from time-to-time. After spending half the day fighting with my load planner’s and the other half spent rushing to finally get the load I was too mentally and physically to do much on the Blog. Today’s special subject is one I wish to share especially with you readers lol.
Today’s subject is about life in the truck with my son this summer. Before I go into this let me give you some history regarding my son and myself. His mother and I separated when he was about two, Despite being offered custody several times she refused to take him-in, I guess as a single partying mom was more alluring to her than taking care of her own son. Needless to say the years to follow were not the easiest. I was raised old-school, graduate get a job get married have children and support your family; nobody ever told me you’re going to get married have a job get divorced and become a single dad. I spent many nights pulling my hair wondering what to do as with all those in single-parenthood sacrifices were made … relationships that could have been never were, dreams left behind along the way. Though I wouldn’t change it… not for anything in the world.
Up until the appearance of Bret’s “Mother Figure” it was just the two of us, more than father-son’s but friends that share a lot of interests, classic example was his jaw-dropping when he learned I knew who the ICP were. The hardest decision I ever made was choosing to pursue my current trucking career and leaving him with his “Mother Figure” while I’m out on the road. The past year and a half was tough being away from him, this summer he joined me in the truck for the first time with the exception of a couple of days this summer it has been the greatest time that I have been with this job… I hadn’t realized how much I missed not just my son, but one of my closest friends. Now with the summers ending drawing nearer this truck will seem a little emptier and a little lonelier its been a great summer I think my son’s gained a little more respect for exactly what it is his old man does. A little more appreciation for the type of work day I put in even though it’s nearly killed him twice. On two separate occassions this young versatile child of mine has crawled up to his top bunk and collapsed into a very deep coma-like sleep thanks to the trucker kept time schedule. As well as seen the daily hassles that a truck driver can encounter on the job.
I think he realizes that I do simply more than “Drive a Truck” meanwhile on the flipside of things I have gained a new appreciation of the young man whom I have the honor of calling my son. I learned he shares the straight-edge belief, for you not aware it is the same belief pro-wrestler CM Punk promotes, for those who also don’t know what it is straight-edge means you don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sex with somebody your not in a relationship with I.E Casual sex. I take extreme pride in the fact that my fifteen year old has chosen this lifestyle especially in the world of high-school where peer pressure is so prominent. I also take great pride in the fact that my sons eyes are focused on his future. When I was his age I feel into the traps of peer pressure, dropped out of school and had no clue what I wanted to do. And yet here he is at the age of 15 chosen to give up his electives in high-school that most kids enjoy and instead se the time to pursue taking college-like courses sponsored by his school.
I have to give some of the credit here to his “mother figure” for saying with him despite our relationship ending and some sense helping to mold him. Past month and a half can be best described as a time of sharing. For my son I shared with him for example a side of nature one night, as darkness began to fall on the land a heard of deer walked across a plain-like area where we had parked that night. On the flipside he has shared with me his knowledge of MP3’s thank god. Having let my Sirius sattelite radio subscription expire and not be renewed his knowledge has helped to feel the cab with musical sounds. I cherish these days of the summer for I know they become fewer and we become further away as my son grows to be the man that I know he can be and soon he will move on to a life and family of his own. It has been a blast this past summer being with him and rediscovering who we each are as we move through the good and bad the summer had to offer. There was a time when I couldn’t see myself be a father much less a single father and yet now I find it hard to not have any people in my life and it is with great sadness I face the knowledge that he to will move on as all children should. In life filled with mistakes my son is not one. Together we have watched a marriage fall, relationships not be, hard-times and good times- financially. But through it all we made it together.
The following words I write I write knowing my son will someday hear and see them.
Son, in life I have made as many mistakes as things I’ve done right and the same goes for me being your father. Your presence in my life has been a blessing words can not describe how you’ve enriched my life. I’ve tried to be stern when I had to be fair and be understanding as well. Tried to show you what is everything life should be and a person should be. I’ve made mistakes along the way made a bad choice here or there, and yet I look at you and watch what and who you’ve become filled with pride at the person, the man that you are and wonder how I got so lucky.
Moi bambino … my son. I’m proud of you and I love you.
