I really don’t see how they expect a person to be able to tell all about themselves in a few paragraphs but what the hell I’ll give it a try. As my screen name applies I’m a long-haul truck driver, But I guess that’s getting a little ahead of myself so let’s start at the beginning. I was born in Vicenza, Italy moved to stateside when my mom divorced my father and several years later she re-married to an alcoholic abusive gentleman (He‘s since been sober for almost 10 years now). Needless to say home life wasn’t the best especially when you have two dominant male personalities under the same roof, at age sixteen I moved out of that home. Got married at the young age of eighteen. About the only good thing to come out of that was my son whom I have custody of. I can’t say there was any real problems in the marriage except some people grow, some people don’t and she wasn’t ready for motherhood. Been married and having a child became to much for her I guess. Yearned for freedom or who even knows. All I know was walked in on her and best friend and it was goodbye! I guess my inner-gypsy heart was never content with being in one place so I moved around a lot and developed very few friendships along the way. Years Later I tried a second long-term relationship with a person who will be referred to as mother-figure because that is what she is to my son but that didn’t last very long either. I think that not lasting is a simple case of in life we’d both been burned by other people and both developed the tendency of when we needed the other the most was when we pushed each other away and became closed off. We discovered we were better as friends/roomies and a couple of years ago I was tired of managing businesses and chose to pursue a long dream I’ve had of being a truck-driver.
However as all things do, with time, some things in my life have changed. The one thing life on the road has reminded me or shown me is an emptiness and a void in my life. Having moved around a lot I haven’t established as many friendships as I could of, and I blame part of that due to my shyness and personal life experiences. My son will be turning of age soon enough going forward in life and becoming the man I know he can be and he has been a main part of my life. I find certain friendships that I had thought firm and solid shaken to their very core regarding issues of trust and faith and the future foreseen is no longer the future reality. I watch as the mother figure of my son moves forward in life upon a separate path and realize for a while now I have allowed my life to be in limbo. So that too is in a lot of ways almost as if I am divorcing for a second-time. And I’m sure that those who have been in long term relationships and marriages and divorced can understand the feeling that presents itself within you of ‘what now’. And I find while people my age are preparing to go through mid-life crisis, me I’m just going through a life-crises lol. However while it has been depressing it has also be reinvigorating. For the past couple of years I’ve allowed the dominant side of me to be tread upon for fear of not spilling the apple cart. However now as I look at the applecart laying in rubble at the bottom of a mountainside it has been spilt, mashed and busted into pieces… and it’s time to charge forward. To become the person I was before. Business-wise it has been one hard year, Operating in the red for the past five months… however as I look at the figures and remind myself the first year is always the hardest in business I do see ways that eventually be prosperous and vow to work harder and make it towards that success. Personal-wise I find myself making all kinds of choices looking into the future, my son will be a man soon and move on until that time I can only continue to try and keep his best interest in mind. While keeping some level-of-piece between his “mom” because of my being out on the road and because of her involvement with his life. IT will not be easy for me, I know, however luckily for me I know the new man involved in her life, whom I have a great deal of respect for, will have my sons best interest also. I have to keep reminding myself to not allow my male-ego take offense to my son’s being around this other male. I have to remind myself I am my son’s father and nothing will ever change that… However not all things are bad. For a long time it has been hard to go home for time off because of the location. Once things financially improve in the business I can start looking for one last place to FINALLY settle down in. Some place with easier access to while I’m on the road, even if it’s just to stop for a day to do so. Though most of my concentration this year will be on making this business successful with even less time at home. That of course means starting out where nobody knows me and it will be hard to establish friendships when not often around much less pursue a relationship. I guess this is sort of why I joined Cherry— I mean Fubar so I can at least develop acquaintances on line, friendships so that life on the road doesn’t seem so lonely.
Ten out of ten to eleven months right now, Senorita Faithful, is home. My truck is called that as the name was given to her by my son one day this summer as the tank read E and we continued miles and miles until finally making it to a truck stop. For the rest of the time home is well... nowhere other than to go see my son in Pittsburgh Pa. . I haven’t decided where I want to finally settle down just yet. When home, most of my time off is spent recuperating from time on the road however when I do find myself with enough energy to do something else I guess I have the same interest as most people, curling up watching a good movie, experience and enjoying life in various ways, and making up for lost time with my son. I love to BBQ but friendships have faded over the past few years so I don’t have gatherings as much as I used to. I love the mountains, camping and experiencing new adventures. It’s hard to pick out any one interest or thing I enjoy because I enjoy living life and there are soo many new avenues I have yet to experience. I have two sides to me the shy side and my dominant side. Until I get to know a person I tend to be closed off and shy which is probably why I haven’t established a lot of relationships or friendships since going out on the road. However once the initial phase of becoming accustom and knowing somebody occurs the dominant me tends to come out.
I tend to be a creature of habit, I like things a certain way and prefer them that certain way. A good example of this would be me coming home for a few days off my son knows that there is a routine regarding that. Day one of being home/day I come home I like to enjoy a nice steak or prime rib dinner with those I care or have feelings for. My first full day home nothing will get done, unless my son does it, other than me enjoying home’s luxuries and that night will usually be pizza night because I am being lazy, and don’t feel like cooking. By the third day I’m ready to go do things, And probably will cook a nice big home cooked meal and feel I’m quite good at it and after twenty + years in the restaurant business I feel I’ve learned a trick or two. Maybe a pork roast with seasonings and gravy or a large spaghetti dinner with sauce made the way it’s supposed to be.
I truly enjoy trying new things, and once and awhile rediscovering old pleasures. This past summer I rediscovered the enjoyment in shooting pool as I played with my son at the yard. I enjoy bowling, playing the occasional video game, shooting darts, and many other things. I enjoy the mountains and the woods, and hope to be able to take time off next year to enjoy it. However I also hope to travel to Holland next year to visit my best friend and her family. This year I’ll probably add a third tattoo to my collection. If it seems I am rambling on this portion it is because it is hard to state the many facets of me and who I am. I guess the best way for you to know about me…is to get to know me. Don’t give up if I come off as shy and guarded at first…that is just how I am at the beginning. Once bitten twice shy they say. However once I get to know someone…I DO come out of my shell lol.
