looking back i can see that i never quite got any of it right.i trusted the wrong people, can't trust the right people. can't seem to make any relationship work. why???? i don't think i am a horrible person. i have problems but who doesn't? i have forgiven so much, and yet i cant be forgiven. i didn't even do anything. i beg for compassion, time, love. wtf for? it always ends in pain. how can someone break your heart into little pieces and tell you they love you? sometimes i think i am going to give up on men. say FUCK IT. find me again. i give everything i have and it is never good enough. talk to me, hold me, love me. BS. i don't understand how my life can go from perfect (nearly) to perfect shit in the time it takes to light a cigarette! lol. and for those of you who read this--- never have a serious conversation when you are drinking. you or them. it never ends well. well, think i'll go bitch elsewhere, lol. take care
