You know..all I have really ever wanted is to be happy.. To have a great friendship. To meet the girl of my dreams. To live life but that is not to be I guess. Truth is I have destroyed every relationship I have ever had in one way or another. From my exes to my son and my mother I have always known I will be alone when I drive. But that does not mean I want to live alone. I have just brought pain and hurt to those around me. I look back at my life so far ind think why am I even here. What have I done to live like this. I can't tell you how hard it's been this last year so much pain and suffering on all parts not just mine. When dad past He died very angry at me. I never got the opportunity to mend fences with him. I rarly speak to my son. Maybe he will return my calls some day. And of course there are the women in and out of my life. And none of them speak to me either. Lol. The last one was a doosy I think I will love her till the day I die she is that spcial. But once again I always fuck up and am alone. Don't want to live like this at all,,,
