There's a group of folk on this planet who think people should live on wheat grass, pea pods and corn husks instead of eating dead cow meat.
Their reasoning goes like this: Killing cows to eat them is immoral and inhumane. It's also not good for the planet. It takes to many of Earth's resources to raise cows for food, as opposed to the amount of time, energy and space it would take to grow edible plants. And it is cruel and unusual punishment to turn a living, breathing animal into teriyaki kabob. Cow meat also is too high in fat, and so is not good for the human body. Oh yeah, cows also burp and pass gas, and these odorous emissions destroy the ozone.
I read all this kind of stuff and watch it on television, and it really makes me dig deep into my brain, right down to the medulla oblongata, and consider the philosophical ramifications of the issues. But I resurface from this Zen brain scuba dive like a metaphysical Lloyd Bridges with the same question on my lips: "We're talkin' about cows, right?"
The funny thing is, I can almost identify with every single thing the Save The Cows lobby espews. If I had to actually personally kill a cow in order to eat a cheeseburger, lunch most likely would turn into grilled cheese sandwich. Maybe not... If having cheese meant milking a cow, which entails grabbing on to those slimy long, udder thingies, then I'd just be reduced to eating a grilled bread sandwich.
Few people actually would eat cow meat if they had to bonk a bovine on the head with a sledge hammer just to whip up a pot of chili. That's why an industry has developed to keep us from thinking about the fact that we are eating large dead farm animals. People in the cow industry know that you aren't going to make much money if you have to convince people to eat cow butts and leg muscles. In stead, they have clevely come up with a variety of names for cow meat like, "steak," "hamburger," "fillet mignon," "prime rib," and regal "Baron of Beef."
They package it so it is impossible to imagine that just days ago, a certain rosy-red slab of tenderloin was part of a complete living animal package, munching on grass and staring blankly at passing automobiles. And frankly, I'm glad they do. Because, as much as I identify with the Save the Cow lobby, you just can't escape the fact that cows are pretty tasty.
Do I feel quilty? Sure. But I also feel like I'm doing my part to perpetuate a species. It's like this: We have to eat cows to save them. How many cows to would be around if they had no purpose in life other than to decorate the north forty with mush mounds? None. Some people would keep a couple of cows for pets, I suppose, and there might be a few in zoos for vegetarians to throw peanuts at. But there would not be the millions of cows that there are now.
There are probably more cows around today than in the history of cowdom. Let's face it, the cow is not a major predator. Left on its own in the wild, the common cow would last about a minute. Wild beasts would hang around the cows and use them as hyena decoys. ("Okay, guys, if you see a hyena gang, start moving very quietly over towards those trees. Oh, yeah, and don't tell the cows.")
The truth is: most cows have it pretty good. They spend their time rigorously living life to its fullest, doing all those things that cows like to do: drooling, standing, burping, eyeing strangers suspiciously and thinking deep cow thoughts. What those thoughts are, of course, we don't know. But they are probably something like, "This is really a great clump of grass. I mean it. Mmmmmm. I don't think I've ever has a better clump of grass. Gulp. Chomp. Say, now THIS is really a great clump of grass. Wow! Tjis is the best grass I've ever eaten, ect."
It's too bad that cows can't run real fast so they could enter the Kentucky Derby. Or that they don't have big claws and bad attitudes so that nobody will mess with them. And it's really too bad that they go so well with mashed potatoes and gravy. But at least they are here. Go ask a dodo bird sometimes how it feels about being tough, stringy and hard to catch. I doubts you'll get a good answer. It's not that dodos are dumb, mind you...they're just extinct.
mooo:)
