Just L00's blog: "Life"

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Invisible!!!

A feeling I am sure we have all known at one time or another.

A feeling that can make you feel alone in this big world.

A feeling that can make you become depressed.

Right now that is just about how I feel.

Yeah I’m a bit emotional these days,

Well duh, I’m 18 weeks pregnant,

And my husband is in another state.

But still, I shouldn’t feel as if I’m invisible,

But yet here I am, feeling more alone then ever.

And the one person who can ease this feeling,

Well is no where in site.

A random phone call would be nice,

Or even a random I love and miss you comment,

Maybe a text or an offline message.

But instead I get nothing of the sort.

I get to feel invisible.

I get to be depressed.

Feeling so alone in my time of need.

And no one quite understand,

What’s going on deep within.

It brings tears to my eyes,

To feel so down, in what should be,

One of the most happiest times in my life.

Not only am I pregnant,

But I’m expecting twins.

Double the joy,

Double the smile.

And now double the pain.

Its not my babies fault.

I love them dearly, and look forward.

To that wonderful day,

When they will arrive in this world.

But I also feel sorry for them.

And don’t look forward to explaining things,

That no mother should ever have to explain.

I dread that day when they will walk up to me,

And say “mommy where’s daddy”

Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

The choices I made,

I made for them.

I felt and still feel being here is the best for them.

I’ll never regret leaving IL that day,

Specially knowing that my babies will have everything.

And won’t have to go hungry or anything else.

But for now,

I still feel so alone,

And so totally invisible,

That it breaks my heart,

Things went the way they did.