There are many things that keep me awake in my bed at night
And I will often toss and turn until the dawn’s first light
I am plagued with Persistent nagging thoughts from within
For instance who put the Alphabet in the order that it’s in?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
And why is there not a shorter word for monosyllabic?
I even try to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
And I ponder if it’s possible to have too much moderation?
Oh God please let me sleep even a nap would be such a treat?
Instead I can only think what is the street value of a street?
I find myself wondering if a fish gets cramps after eating?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How does the snowplow driver get to work in the winter weather?
Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why does sour cream have a 'sell by date’? Does it turn sweet?
And if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Another hour slowly passes by that must be at least the fifth
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why isn't palindrome spelt the same way backwards? Tell me do
And if you choke on an ice cube will it melt before it kills you?
If love is supposed to be blind, why is lingerie as popular as it is?
And why on earth doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?
What's another word for Thesaurus? Please I beg you tell me soon
And how do the pipers know when their bagpipes are out of tune
Yet another night of torture as to insomnia I again succumb
If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made from?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest drown or not?
And why doesn’t the glue ever get stuck to the inside of the pot
What’s underwear called when it’s the only thing that you have on?
Why does Teflon stick to pans but nothing sticks to the Teflon?
At last I think my minds at peace and I close my eyes at last
Then in minutes of achieving sleep the Alarm begins to blast
