if i close my eyes forever...
i first heard this song in 1989....i was 24...newly divorced after a 5 year marriage...we had 2 girls (both beautiful succesfull young women now)...i had started suffering from depression....after i was divorced i came home to mass...ended up in a state psych hospital for 5 weeks...from there i was placed in a halfway house...thats when i heard ozzy and lita...at the time i was still very depressed and saw the song as feeling as if i didnt matter...that it wouldnt make a difference if i was no longer here...but if you look at it from another angle...in different light ...it can mean the opposite...i see it as how the people in my life would miss me...and losing my potential to make a difference in this little piece of life i occupy...i'm still very lost right now...i dont know where i'm going....i have no clue what i want to do...first of all i need to feel ok in my own skin...to get over needing others to validate my existance...learn to live life for the sake of living ...and purpose will follow...i still suffer from depression...i still have very down days...but i have found hope in my life...i have 3 reasons to live...andrea, kristy and shannon...my 3 wonderful, beautiful girls...my love for them keeps me alive
