Alright, it's been a month since I hit 32. Still don't feel any different...
I want a suicide girl.
Really.
Reallyreallyreallyreallyreally.
I want a suicide girl really bad.
Christ are they hot.
So...I was in a relationship not so long ago...LOL! How do I say this...there was no real passion...I was happy with her,she was nice, I cared to the moon about her but fuck me if I could see myself growing old with her. Not her fault. It's not like she'd done anything wrong...although I would have enjoyed a little more initiative on her part...I didn't feel too desired (yes, ladies, we men need that too...)...she told me she loved me, that I was handsome but she never instigated anything. Sometimes I wondered if I stopped wanting to have sex, how long it would last...(it ended up being 4 weeks). This is sad, LOL!
I was settling. That is so not good. I want someone passionate. I want a goth girl....heehee...No, that's not just what I want, I'm not that shallow...I want someone who's got imagination regarding everything, who's a culture freak, like me.
I was settling. I was becoming a ho-hum adult in my love affairs. Me. I'm scared. I'm supposed to be a Dom. This is not supposed to happen. Honestly. But I liked her. Total mind-fuck. I was taking it a day at a time but knew damn well where it was headed.
I don't want to settle. I do not want to become that which I was not meant to become. I need a freak, LOL! What is it Ludacris says in that Usher song? We want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed? Something like that. But I want a freak that reads Beaudelaire or who knows what Jack Tripper's occupation was BEFORE he moved in with Janet and Chrissy....
Who am I kidding, LOL!
There's someone I'd like, but she's unavailable...tremendously unavailable. And I'm ok and zen with that. It's just funny when you try to picture the perfect person for you in your mind....funny what it likes to bring up.
So I've decided I want a suicide girl.
Really.
This is me.
And you're leaving.
