This entry brought to you by:
411 Pizza!
No food.
No delivery.
Just info on what can top a pizza!
-----------------------------------------------
What did they find in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer?
Ben and Jerry.
-----------------------------------------------
Pop quiz: What did the little Hispanic kid call Herbie the love bug in one of the most recent movies done about the cute little volkswagen?
No, it isn't Ese. Get your minds out of the gutter.
Speaking of "in the gutter"...
A new frozen delight.
Cosby loves to eat this little latin treat!
J-Lo Pudding pops!
Looks like Jennifer Lopez, tastes like, well, Jennifer Lopez!
In the frozen foods section, next to the Daddy Puffs.
Now, you would think the coyote would eventually catch that goddamned roadrunner, but nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
I swear the cartoon has already been filmed and when the end of the world comes, that's all you'll see on TV. The coyote catching the bird and making himself dinner. And then we'll roast.
A new drinking game for you all. It's called 6 o'clock shots. Watch the news, whenever someone says the word "the", take a shot of whatever alcohol you have on hand.
Guaranteed drunken stupor by 6:15.
Then you can try a new discipline, headed for the olympics, the vomit throw.
Why is it that a lost girl, RUNNING from camp crystal lake will always get caught by a WALKING Jason Voorhees? She could run, get into her car, drive to the airport, get on the concorde, land in Paris and I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that he'll be there, dressed like a chauffeur, holding a sign with her name on it.
"Oh, wow....a limo? For me????"
Hack, hack, slash, slash.
--------------------------------------------------
Take Action!
I saw that in a window display today and I laughed my balls off.
No one takes action. No one. Everything anybody does is a reaction. Why you ask? Simple. An true action is one which has no cause, no rhyme or reason.
So only crazy people are capable of true actions?
Wrong, thank you for calling.
They are mad. Their actions are a result of their madness, and so...
Cycles, cycles, nothing but cycles.
And Free Will gets a much needed kick in the balls. Don't confuse this with Fate, that falls in the belief category and we're not dealing with one omnipotent force guiding our way, we're dealing with 7 billion, semi-retarded game-show contestant-types guiding your way. From the girl who asked to see your nuts in grade school to the wrong number who called your roommate twice in a row (thus waking you up)to the 3 year old asian kid who made the reeboks your brother bought on sale, they are your tour guides in the great amusement park called life.
Just cause you don't see someone doesn't mean they don't affect your actions, decisions, desires and basic needs. And when enough people, who are reacting themselves, who have never met, all react in a way that eventually ripples down to you, you get a mouvement de masse which seems like inevitability because it comes from all sides.
But it isn't.
What it IS is worldshaping at it's most basic. You think one person can't change the course of history?
Chances are, you already have. And the funny thing is, you'll never know it.
This summer, on the Broadway Network in collaboration with the Cartoon Channel and Space:
Castle Greyskull has been swallowed by the sea.
He-man has lost his voice and cannot sing in CATS.
It is now time for a new face, a new voice.
From the depths of the sea comes...
Ethel Mer-Man!
Kicking ass and singing showtunes!
This is me.
And you're leaving.
