Surrender
I acquiesce to your overwhelming desire to escape into
the solitude of my soul. Locked inside my house, this
empty house, I delve into that empty room, my soul.
Finding nothing but peace, I remain.
The world goes on around me, clamoring with that
incessant noise so often referred to as life. But I am
oblivious to its call, for I have muffled my ears to its
siren's song. No longer will it entice me, beckon me,
into its arms. No longer shall I fall a victim to its sadistic
humor.
I shall not depart my quiet shell to live a life which
hammers me, cruelly, into the ground. Here I stay,
insulated within myself, protected from myself and
those who choose to draw me out just to abandon me
yet again.
No longer shall I fall prey to the whimsical games that
others might play within my lonely heart. No longer
shall you, my so called friend, be allowed to torture me
into submission, for I am already there. I have
surrendered my spirit, an empty husk of the man I use
to be or the one I could have become.
How long must this charade go on, with me the captive
of your games. Will machinations ever be confessed
that hold me here in limbo, waiting, hoping for a present
that has never been or a future never meant to be. Will
you ever set me free with the truth of your deceit? For
only then should I come alive, resurrected from this
death.
Do you hear my cry, see the tears fall from my eyes?
Do you care that I am gone, alone within this prison
called my soul. Am I such a non-entity that I am so
easily forgotten by those I shall always remember,
forever banned from those friendships that I treasure?
Look into my eyes, open windows to my soul, and you
shall see an empty room. Uncluttered by memories of
yesterday, unfulfilled by the desires of today, and
unfettered by the dreams of a future. Such a stark and
antiseptic room is this.
Look into my heart and you shall find that what once
burned hot with passion has slowly died, grown cold
and empty. Bereft of any good, devoid of any feeling, it
beats a soulfully empty tune, a song which falls on
empty ears for I am locked within the solitude of my
soul. I surrender to my fate.
Kevin F. Dustin ©
