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JJ's blog: "I hate blogging"

created on 10/05/2006  |  http://fubar.com/i-hate-blogging/b10746
I figure I usually have to be pretty pissed off to write in a blog, but today is another story. After working 10 hrs to cover my friends shift (who yelled at me while I was getting yelled at by the boss lady for covering for her)I am actually ok. I am really tired and cant believe half the shit I wrote last night but thats ok. It is expected I guess when sleep deprivation kicks in. I am going to have a quiet weekend to myself, no parties, no gaybois, nada! I am not going to drink, do drugs, have sex or rock out with my imaginary cock out. LOL I really think I just kinda wanna sleep the weekend away. wouldnt that be fun. So I heard from the marine again, not as much fun the second time around. The first time talking to him was great ya know i found out where he was, how he was, that kind of thing. This time around it was Im lonely lets bring up stuff to make Jenn cry, like I need an excuse. I was cool though I didnt cry, wanted to but didnt. I am not really talking to "The Dude" which kinda makes me sad but at the same time I am not upset. With him I always end up fighting and it hurts and I can only take so much ya know. Me and my best friends are fighting, I dont understand guys and I dont think I ever will. Oh well! Life goes on. So I dont know for sure but i think the end of the world is coming because FL was on fire and I am afraid of breaking off from the rest of the country and sinking into the ocean. Maybe I should move to like Missouri I dont think I would have to worry about sinking there. Let me know if you live there.
ok I havent gotten any sleep in almost about 40 hours and I cant seem to pass out. So all that is running in my head right now is a mixiture of whose a ho and Super heros. It is coming out like this: If I could be a super ho I would be sha na na, Telling the world of my hooker prices and all of the lives they distroy. LOL WOW! ok did I mention random and prolly wont make any sense at all. And for all of those HATERS out there NO I am not drunk, I am not stoned, I am not even geeked ok. *that was last night you missed it* now I am dealing with the repocussions of no sleep and not being able to sleep but feeling like a pile of shyt.On the up side had a great convo with my Ex fiancee in cuba he is as safe as a marine deployed in cuba could be and he said he will be back in July and that we are going to totally hang out and that makes me happy. Even though we have both moved on he was my friend for 2 years before we dated and before we were engaged. Oh Teddy sorry for no lobster pics, I was afraid that by not sleeping then going to the beach I was just looking for a reciepe for disaster. LOL Other then that me and my 2 best friends are fighting and my other best friend is leaving me for Detroit for the weekend and now i dont know what to do with myself but possibly sleep all day all weekend. I may go to this sports fest ting on saturday but thats only if the guys stop acting like pansies and get over the fact that I party too much. long story not enough time already have bored myself. OHHH pretty penny on the floor!
Well besides fighting with the dude, I just found out my ex fincee was deployed to Cuba. So I am not in a very good mood. I dont know what is going on wtih him he just said he will be back hopefully in july. So we will have to see how that goes. I am over dating in general and think the best avenue to take is becoming a nun. I am sick of putting myself out there, especially to ppl who say they want to be with you and then say they dont know what they want, and getting hurt its ridiculous. why should I deal with the bullshit? Either you love someone or you dont. Dont tell tell them that you do and then tell them you are dying so you dont want to put them through that pain. That is not your choice to make. You are not necessarily dying you just need to get healthy, most men your age deal with the same thing. I dont want to sound cold or anything like that because I do care about him a lot but apparently he doesnt feel the same. So that is the fun and exciting news of the day, yay!
Ok so for the sake of all parties involved I am going to try and write this without names, most that read this and know me pretty well will most likely know who this involves. Ok so me and this dude started out on the rocks cuz I am not a fan of internet dating and what not, mostly I think its bogus. Then turns out dude is married. Ok fine whatever he wants a divorce, blah blah blah. We start talking and he tells me he loves me, me being the loser that I am fall for it and tell him how much I love him back. Well he gets jealous of my gay best friends, and I dont know what else and I just get a little freaked out when he is talking about marriage, living together, his kids are my kids, (keep in mind still married) and not to mention our age difference. Ok we are talking 11 or 12 year difference here. Now I will admit that I go for older guys but it was never anything super serious. THIS WAS SERIOUS BUSINESS!So between the jealousy and the freaking out we split. Well I go nuts for a few days not being able to talk to him ,blah blah blah. I tell him I want to work it out. Fuck the internet what matters is him and me thats it. So he says he's game right. Well the very next day he has some other chicks name in his CT name. Now I dont want to sound childish or like a girl but I know that most you guys out there would shit bricks if your girl put "insert name here"s loving wife, and you girls would flip to, internet or not that shits not cool in my book. So I do what I always do, I delete his number out of my cell, I get rid of his pictures, I delete him off every account I can come up with, I basically wipe him out as if he never exsisted. This works for like almost a month. SO I cave and decide to start talking to him again just to work on a friendship and let him know I dont hate his guts. So we start talking and he tells me how the chick that he is "CT Married" to is married in real life too so it is just kinda like a friends thing and that he doesnt really feel that way about her, or atleast not anymore. So I say ok. Well insteps my retarded ass and decides Hey why not really give this ago like not just half ass but full on like wanna meet as soon as possible to start a life together kind of shit. He agrees, we made a deal that we wouldnt let the CT shit bother us and we wouldnt listen to what our friends said about it because again all that matters is me and him. Not to mention we both made a promise to each other about breaking bad habits. I promised to give up my skiing if he would stop being such a downer. Now granted mine is a bit harder of a habit to break, but he was always in like a depressed mood. So determined to make a fresh start I ask him about his CT name, I mean it is only respectful to me by not having some other chicks name listed as your loving wife. Well now I am the jealous girlfriend because he thought that we were seriously dating not just ct dating, I am still thinking that he isnt catching the drift. He has pictures of them saying how they are a perfect couple, he calls her baby and tells her he loves her, shit like that right, what do I get so uh when am I going to get a topless pic of you. or my favorite love you too. Deep stuff right? Am I nuts? Am I asking too much? Am I reading to much into this? Well I guess this has been getting to me for sometime now and he hasnt been catching on and it kinda blew up tonight because I admitted to breaking my promise this weekend, cuz it was a friends birthday party and I was depressed and what not, so yea I told him what I did this weekend. Let me also point out I told him he broke his promise as well, and when I told him this he said that he had good reason (which he did) and that if I would have MADE him talk to me I would have known. Yea thats right I got yelled at because I wasnt patient enough with him and I asked him whats wrong he would say nothing so I didnt push but apparently he wanted me to push because I have no fucking clue as to what is going on. So he tells me he is over the internet and CT and that he is thinking of leaving it all together(which means we wont speak because I refuse to call his house so I dont have to speak to his WIFE, and his reasons for not calling me are still unknown) so my only response was whatever. I am not the type to beg someone to talk to me. Either you do or you dont. I am not your fucking mother I am not going to tell you what you can or can not do. So I guess the whole purpose of this blog is to ask, 1. Why are guys like this? 2. Why the fuck am I even trying? 3. is it even worth my time trying? and 4. If guys complain about having to be a mind reader for woman, wouldnt it be the same vice versa? WHAT AM I MISSING????
I am so excited tonight is one of my best friend's birthdays. So if you need me you can try my cell but 9 out of 10 chances I am going to be too fucked up to figure out what that strange ringing sound is LOL. I hope you all have had a great weekend. I sure as hell know that I did! Loves it!!
First let me start off by saying that not all old ppl are bad. SOme of you that are grandparents are super cool and kick ass. Then there are some, mostly those that populate the NPR area here in FL, that suck massive ass. I dont understand why they feel that I am put on this earth to spoon feed them. I dont mind helping because that is my job but dont fucking blow up at me because you cant get your thumb out of your ass and deal with your own issues. I work in a pharmacy, for those of you that didnt know. Let me just tell you all right now it is not my job to call your insurance companies to figure out why they dont want to cover your meds. Ok if you want to know so fucking bad go home get on your phone and dial that lovely number on the back of your card that says customer service. My job is to take the script and fill it, Dont bitch at me for the price that YOUR INSURANCE is charging you. I do not make up your co pay. Now normally I dont mind giving an insurance company a call to try and figure some stuff out but when I am say that I am busy right now and will have to get to it in a little bit, I AM NOT LYING. That means leave me the fuck alone until I am not so busy and I will be more then happy to help. Just because ppl are cheap bastards and cant buy their own meds, which this particular one was not that important and it was an over the counter drug, just pisses me off to no end. The thing that gets me the most is that the pharmacist told this patient the same thing I did and yet she listened to him. When I say I will fix it and give you a call later I get, "no you will help me now, I dont care how many ppl are behind me. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to do your job." Well apparently it takes atleast half a brain for the fact that she cant even work her own fucking phone to call her own insurance company. GOOSFRABA!!! Ok so now that I got that out of my system.... I want to smoke a cig and pass out.
So this is what happens when you party too hard on Friday night, no one wants to go out on saturday because they are too tired. Well unfortunately my insomnia is getting the better of me so all my guys are sleeping and I am stuck watching tv at 3am, talk about a fun time. So I watched this movie today that really kinda blew my mind. Have yall seen that movie Super Size Me? Well I watched it for the first time tonight and WOW I thought I was going to puke. My friends all kinda laughed because no matter what they see on tv they say they are too busy to cook. Well anyway so I was watching this movie and was discusted at what I had found out about the food that we are so quick to consume. Well I dont want to go on about it all night but its made me think about what I put into my body, I recommend yall to rent it if you havent seen it yet, just a warning though make sure you if you have a weak stomach to cover your eyes at certain parts. I hope you all have a great weekend.
So this is my weekend to find my party self all over again. And let me just tell you I am enjoying every fucking step of the way. Tonight is the poker party and I am ready. I dont know how well we are going to play fucked up but its all for fun right? Well the gayboi's are ready to show me what I have been missing these past few weeks, worrying about falling in love and dealing with stupid internet bullshit. ITS ALL FAKE! I am ready to go out and enjoy my life once again. So if you are in the Tampa/St Pete area send me a message and I will see what I can do for the party invite. LOVES IT!
I am not a happy camper. I was in a lot of pain earlier this week and had to get a tooth pulled and let me just say that is not a fun thing. I broke up with my boyfriend, switched lounges, got into it with my best friend, and then decided to party a bit to forget it all. Well worked things out with the boyfriend, until today apparently(thanks for mentioning something btw ass), not in the mood for the lounges anymore, to much work and drama for no reason. My best friend is still prolly going to be pissed but she will get over it. I have every intention of getting so fucked up this weekend that this week will basically be wiped from my memory. This is a good thing. I think I am pretty much done with Cherrytap because so far I havent really seen any reason to stick around so you can still send me a message or whatever and I will try to respond back as I can, but I wont be on for regular chats and what not. So to all my friends that I have made, to all the men that I have loved, and to those that just dont give a damn, its been fun.
Why the fuck would you come into a room saying sites like these are bad and should all be shut down because too many ppl are getting raped and attacked? bitching about them to me isnt going to change whats going on. I do feel sorry for those that have ever had this happen to them it is a very bad situation, but if you are willing to meet someone from the internet then that is a risk you are going to take. Dont come into my lounge and start bitching at me about what I do for entertainment after working a 45+ hr week. Ruining my mood isnt going to do anything but make me not want to listen to one damn thing that comes out of your mouth. There are ppl that run this site and I am sure they would love to hear your opinnion on this subject if you really want someone to listen to you. The thing that really gets me is that after all this the dude totally says that he is a lvl 1 sex offender! So what he was really trying to say was that he needed to be banned from sites like this? Am I the only one getting that idea from this? So he is trying to tell me that I am a bad person and that I dont care about other ppl because I use sites like this and myspace, yet he is the one who has a conviction of the crime he is so against. Confused anyone? I know that I sure as fuck am! OMG I think I may explode I am too frustrated to deal with this dudes BS! So what does one do in this situation? Do we go to the head of the site and trouble him with minor bullshit, or is this more serious and maybe it does need to be brought to his attention? Let me know I am dying to hear someone else's opinion
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