I forgot to remember...
How much I loved Modest Mouse's album "Good News For People Who Love Bad News". Is that even the title of it? Well, after my CD's were returned to me from an ex, I replayed that bad boy and I freaking fell in love with it all over again.
Also, how much I loved "And All That Could've Been". Another CD I lost to a random ex. Live NIN. It doesn't get much better than the live version of "Terrible Lie". (Courtesy of the Kevmeister, who burnt me the most wonderful compilation of albums this weekend.)
How good it felt to be around Amelia Bedelia. Tonight was her birthday, and I am ever so glad I ventured out even if it was just for a few moments, so I could share time with her. She is one of the loveliest and her presence makes me feel happy and calm. Knowing that we may be distant at times but we can still come together like there has been no time lapse at all.
That no matter how depressed I was about this time last year, it still all comes together. To think , there was a point last year where I wanted to drive myself off a cliff. Tonight reminded me that no matter how many years go by, you can still sit around with friends (Amelia, Sarah and Sarah, Bear and Steph) and listen to some acoustic Mike Robinson, and remember where it all went GOOD.
Also, I can remember last year when all went BAD, when friends like Sam-U-L Shane Forrest Long, Larry, Layla and Brian watched me brush my teeth in the Park and Ride parking lot by exit 11 when I was getting ready for a Titans game. I would've brushed my teeth at home but I partied to hard for Brian's birthday the night before and they looked out for me like that.
What it felt like to be on my way HOME to Homestead for my first race since I can remember.
What it was like to come home to a nice house and be alone and be able to blast some NIN and write a blog (Gosh, when was the last time?!?!!? April? March, maybe?)
What it felt like to be downtown. To get a greeting like I always do at the OTT. To walk downtown and see old friends that it are actually worth running in to when you dont see them everyday.
How easy it is to drive on the interstate at midnight.
That no matter what happened a year ago, I made it. And I made it well, thank you very much.
However, I did NOT forget to remember...
How much I love my friends.
How good it feels to fall asleep in the arms of the man I love, no matter how crazy he is at times. And no matter where we may be sleeping.
Why I once upon a time was in love with downtown Clarksville.
Why I love coming home to an empty house every now and again.
The lyrics to "Wish".
Why I'm still here.
Why I can't give up. And why I never will.
