12:47 AM - How It feels to Die
Current mood: Lost
Category: Lost Romance and Relationships
March 23rd, 2006
I died...
How quickly your dreams, your feelings, your plans for the future, your ambitions, your heart and soul, can be taken away from you. Life is like having a dream store full of puzzles, each part of your life fits together with eachother. You start making these , these beautiful puzzles that many people wish they could do. And then they are all destroyed. It's just like having a bomb dropped on you. My God, the worst part is I did't see it coming!!! The Japanese during WWII at lease heard and seen the planes come and drop the bomb on Hiroshima. I had a stealth plane, disguised as a swallow, swoop right down and land on my shoulder, drop the bomb, and watched me go into a million peices. I would have rather hanged, at least I'd go in one peice. I'd rather be stomped on, crushed from the outside in. At least they could say I put up a fight. At least I would have a reason to hate you. I feel like a stupid child now, wandering around in my dream puzzle store, picking up little, broken, insignificant peices of puzzles and trying to rebuild. But the important peices are lost, and not the ones easily forgotten. Rare ones, ones that you can never find anywhere else in the world. Gone forever. Such a foolish child, like myself, tried to put what I do have back together... nothing fits though... there is nothing you can do, so I quit. I give up, really... and that's what to die is. Having the most precious thing to you destroyed and only have small peices of it to taunt you, reminding you of what you neglected, Letting you think there will be another time, another place. I could listen to the other children and say the special peices will come back, and we can start from where we are... but its time to grow up. Dreams are dreams for a reason. They are there for comfort and to pick up your spirit. I relied on my dream to much, I believed that it would be a reality, All I can do is cry for my loss, my broken dream, my broken heart, and hope that my new life will build me a shelter, not a dream puzzle store.
Good night, Love you all!!!
