First off, being a new member to fubar and this being my very first blog entry, I wanted to start off by saying that I absolutely LOVE to write and always have, but this is honestly the first time I have ever written a blog on a profile before. I have other profiles such as MySpace, Tagged, Yahoo 360, MSN, and I think some other ones that I can't even remember it's been so long since I visited them! I just never took the time to write down anything interesting. But then when I start writing there's usually no stopping me and I tend to ramble on and on and start writing novels at that point oblivious of paragraphing, etc. So pardon me if I use this newfound space here as a bit of a catharsis because that is exactly what it is going to be for me. A way to heal and overcome a situation that has exploded in my face. I consider myself to be a very kind and understanding and loving person, but the kind of emotional pain that I have been subjected to the past few days has practically pushed me to the brink. I said practically. I'm not here to point fingers, call names, be judgmental, etc., etc. I believe in forgiveness, but in all fairness, I also believe in fate and karma to a certain extent and that what comes around goes around. I am sitting here at my computer feeling utterly lonely, knowing absolutely no one on this site, and alienated from the one person who led me to fubar. The whole story is rather twisted, but to give a brief history on it, this person kept telling me in communications from time to time that he was a DJ on a site which would remain 'unrevealed.' OK, whatever. Did I beg him to reveal the name of the site? NO. However, somehow, his newfound moonlighting kept popping up in conversation and he always made it be known that he wasn't going to reveal the name, as if I cared. It was almost as if he thought I was gonna be begging him to reveal where this site was. Well then, just a couple days ago while at his apt. he again was taunting this DJing thing at me, saying, 'you would probably really like this site,' which I replied over and over to him that I probably wouldn't. I already had enough stuff going on in my life and I didn't need to be spending anymore time on the computer. He said he knew me very well and he knew I would like this. He then FORCED me to look at his computer screen while he pulls up fubar.com!! I tried to cover my eyes, honestly! Well, he was obviously just chompin at the bit and couldn't wait to let the cat outta the bag! So that's the first part of the story. Sounds innocent enough. Except for the fact that this guy was an ex-boyfriend and we had broken up 2 months prior to that and we were just hooking up again on Friday night because he supposedly missed me so much and wanted to see me again. Well, if I haven't lost you yet or bored you to tears, go to the next blog and read on...
