hmmm Blog by The Watcher
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The Watcher's blog: "hmmm"

created on 05/11/2008  |  http://fubar.com/hmmm/b214864

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, That was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'

 

The teacher sat down and cried.


The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this!"
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your junior prom had a daycare.
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Not for the squeamish!

SECONDS before Death (CHILLING).


WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO.




THIS IS A PICTURE


OF A MAN


WITH JUST SECONDS


LEFT TO LIVE


(CHILLING!)



 

ATT000281

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.? ?
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT OUR OLD FRIEND JOKER HAS RETURNED HE HAS ALREADY HIT MY PAGE AND A FEW OTHERS BELOW IS HIS LINK HE IS SET TO FRNDS ONLY SO HE WILL NOT KNOW YOUVE BEEN ON HIS PAGE

I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU ALL BLOCK THIS PAGE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE HE STARTS ANY CRAP WITH YOU

HE IS FULL OF DRAMA IN THE HIGHEST

I PERSONALY WILL NOT BLOCK HIM BUT I HAVE MY OWN REASONS AS SUCH

BUT FOR YOUR OWN SAKE PLEASE DO

 

http://www.fubar.com/user/3364802

 

 

 

 

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I  would like to buy some cyanide.'
 The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need
cyanide?'
 The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'
 The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord
have mercy
! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.
That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a  picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
 The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now,
 that's different.....
You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

 

 

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a
>> sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several
>> possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the
>> more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the
>> most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He
>> presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it
>> on, and model it for him.
>>
>> Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy ), 'I have
>> an idea. It's so sheer that
>> it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but
>> I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep
>> the $500 refund for myself.'
>>
>> She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
>>
>> The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for
>> $500, they'd at least iron it!'
>>
>> He never heard the shot.
>>
>> Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.


A guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an >> hour when this big >> trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it >> down in one swig and >> then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, >> 'What'cha gonna do about it?' >> >> The poor little guy starts crying. >> >> 'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. >> 'I didn't think you'd >> CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying'. >> >> 'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between >> sobs. 'I can't do >> anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, >> so my boss fired me. >> When I went to the parking lot,I found my car was stolen and I >> don't have any insurance. >> I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed >> with the gardener and my >> dog bit me. So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage >> to put an end to my >> life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

Stepped awayITS BEEN FUN AND ITS BEEN REAL BUT IT HASNT BEEN REALLY ...
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