J Wade's blog: "Day by Day"

      I've dealt with anxiety for a while, but I've also been learning to cope with it. Unfortunately, it never really goes away. Honestly, I'm kind of okay with it being around to an extent. It helps to humble me when I start to realize I'm beginning to lose myself.

      As a sort of "token in my pocket", anxiety is the one thing that kept me from making friends for so many years. As recent as about a year ago, I've been learning to use the fears I've had as lessons to take one step at a time. These days, it can be more of a reminder than a proverbial 'monkey on my back'.

      If I've come on too strong, let me know. I'm really learning to live again, learning to make friends and rise out of the dark. I understand that a lot of what I've said is cliche to most. However, it's how I've learned to understand myself. Spending so many years helping others out of their pits, I never focused on my own. I let others depend on me so much, it finally caught up to me and dragged me deeper.

      I assure you, I am a faithful friend. I don't trust too much, but I do just enough to grow a good friendship. If anything grows from there, wonderful. If not, just as special to me. If you've read all of this, I hope it might help you as well. If it's a big mess that you'd rather forget, no worries. Find your journey. Just know anxiety is a real burden, not just an excuse.