TonyaLady of Liliths Lair's blog: "Hello everyone!"

I may be leaving fubar for a bit. Not that I have anything against anybody on here. I just feel like maybe I've invested enough time on here to no avail and its time to try to get back in touch with reality. What got me hooked on fubar was the lounges, and the amazing friends I have made. My freak show family and my dark phoenix family..you guys are the best and i love you all! Most of you have my yahoo or even my phone number. I would love to hear from you guys occasionally. If not, thats ok too. Its just that it all seems to falling apart..FSFM founder is leaving the fsf...theres no stability with the lounges. ( not that i post blame on anyone) As most of you know, I have enough serious problems in my own life to deal with. I can't deal with anymore heartbreak or disappointment at this time of my life. I'm just to fragile for that and I don't want to risk my depression getting any worse. I love you all! And I will pop on to check messages and comments once in a while. I'll come and say hi in the lounges and repost any bulletins for you. I'm sorry if I hurt or left any of you feeling abandoned. Its just time to take care of myself.

† Devious Mistress Rayvn†Dark Phoenix Co-Owner, come check us out!

@ fubar ÐÅ®K ¶HOENIX~Day Manager @ Dark Phoenix Lounge

@ fubar Krissi-aka C*nts Jitzferrald~-♫DJ Broken♫-Night Manager of Dark Phoenix~

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i wanna give myself completely to someone. But i believe the man i want doesnt exist. He would have to be dominant, but patient. Aggressive, but not pushy. Be passionate, but not pervy. He would have to be charming, seductive and have no problems making me feel beautiful, wanted, and special. I wanna be submissive, but not quite into hardcore bdsm. maybe someday

Click on pic and join me...

i just need to vent. i live with someone i love, want, and need very much. and he feels the same towards me. but despite his denial, i have become quite the burden for him. and sadly, i think hes one of the biggest reasons i cant overcome this depression. i know he doesnt mean to do this, but it seems everytime i start to feel better, he says or does something that brings me down hard. i lost my passion some time ago and now, i only get little sparks of it that come and go very quickly. so when im into something that im actually enjoying, i embrace it. thats when he "knocks me down a few pegs" i want to live alone. and i know telling him this would devastate him, but i really think hed be better off without me.

Its always fun when snow falls in the grass, but what do you do when grass falls in the snow?

I am starting to really believe that i may NEVER recover from this. I am sorry. I love all of you who tried to help me!

tired of rejection tired of feeling ashamed tired of being fat tired of being needy tired of feeling not good enough tired of being alone tired of being unwanted!