TonyaLady of Liliths Lair's blog: "Hello everyone!"

created on 02/21/2007 | http://fubar.com/hello-everyone/b57849

posted on 01/11/2010&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;05:01&nbs-08:00;pm

Where have I been?
http://fubar.com/where-have-i-been/b57849-1096124

To be honest, depressed. Very depressed. I lost interest in everything I once enjoyed. Thats not really the point though. I'm posting this blog to let my Liliths Lair family know where I've been. I promised I'd never close the lounge, and I don't plan to. Just somedays I don't have the drive to get out of bed. I'm sure I'll overcome this someday, until then, keep an eye out cause when I have good days I get in there,DJ live and have a blast! For those of you who haven't givin up on me, THANK YOU! XOXO

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posted on 07/11/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;11:07&nbs-07:00;pm

So here it is
http://fubar.com/so-here-it-is/b57849-1043943

There comes a time when a woman needs to realize that she does not have what it takes. It sucks when you come to that conclusion.

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posted on 04/02/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;06:04&nbs-07:00;pm

Regret
http://fubar.com/regret/b57849-997730

Well, I've done it. I finally pushed everyone out of my life. Tim moved out and as much as I wanted to be alone, I miss him. He would come down anytime I want him to but I know he comes out of guilt and that he'd really rather be at his place. I never wanted this!

I just wish he would end it already so I can heal and move on. He keeps saying hes not ending it but a woman KNOWS! I can't take the pain of knowing he could leave at any second and that I'm the one pushing him away. I'm trying to get help, but its not happening fast enough.

I just want all my pain to end already

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posted on 02/03/2009&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;06:02&nbs-08:00;pm

My Priestess, friend and mentor
http://fubar.com/my-priestess-friend-and-mentor/b57849-966022

Vicki, I need you so much now and I miss and love you always! R.I.P.

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posted on 01/09/2009&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;01:01&nbs-08:00;pm

EMO fu-drama
http://fubar.com/emo-fu-drama/b57849-951003

I'm getting very tired of the amount of immature BS on this site! I mean grow up people, its a website. Why take it so seriously? Why does leveling mean so much? Not like you can make money or gain good health. And what is with all the whining and EMO crap?!?! Its incredible how I get treated if God forbid I don't acknowledge someone right away! Grown men and women getting pissy and deleting me or unsubscribing to my lounge. Who cares? If thats how anyone wants to be then I don't need their drama in my life. I refuse to go chasing anyone or begging them to forgive me for having a life outside of fubar! If anyone reading is one of these people, KISS MY ASS! I don't chase ANYONE EVER! Not even my real life friends and family.

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posted on 11/13/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;11:11&nbs-08:00;am

Fakes ~n~ Posers
http://fubar.com/fakes-n-posers/b57849-917255

400 people on my friends list, and I only deal with about 10 of them. Last night, Tim and I both posted a bulletin, only 1 person looked at mine and no one bothered reading his. This is major BS! Most of you beg for F/A/R and don't bother even trying to make a friend. If it doesn't benefit them in some way they don't bother. I admit, I'm all about my lounge on here, but I do not hide that fact. Its all over my profile, but like anyone bothers to read them. I'll be surprised if this even gets read!

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posted on 09/11/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;12:09&nbs-07:00;pm

For our troops
http://fubar.com/for-our-troops/b57849-875896

I made this video. Its my first and what an occasion! MANY BLESSINGS TO OUR TROOPS!!!!!

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posted on 07/13/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;08:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Giving up!
http://fubar.com/giving-up/b57849-835211

I'm at a point in my life where i have to accept my circumstance,or walk away. I have to give up on something i always wanted and most women have without even wanting it. I'm only 37. Is this really it? Is hope dead? IDK what i'm rambling about. All i know is i hurt!

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posted on 06/27/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;12:06&nbs-07:00;pm

~SIGH~
http://fubar.com/sigh/b57849-822631

I feel like telling the world HEY, I HURT! No one cares and I don't blame them. But I need an outlet so here it is. I despise whiny EMO people, but I am a hypocrite so screw it. One of my biggest passions in life is sex. Not that I'm a nymph or a perv, but I want to be wanted, pursued and seduced. I really don't think thats too much for a 37yr old female to want. Yet, I always seem to end up with guys who are passive and reserved and claim there just not into sex. YES! NOT into sex? Is that even normal? Why is it so hard to just find someone who desires me? I'm not talking about love, I have that, but I'm talking about passion. I'm not getting any younger or any healthier and lets face it, I am certainly NOT getting any more attractive. This may never happen for me and I'm having a hard time accepting that. To be honest, I see no real reason to go on, but don't worry, I don't have the balls to do anything about it. Please don't comment with optimistic reasons to go on. I know there are a few, but I'm so hurt right now I just can't see them. Anyway, TY for reading my whiny EMO rant again. Tonya

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posted on 06/15/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;10:06&nbs-07:00;pm

My online neglect is working for me!
http://fubar.com/my-online-neglect-is-working-for-me/b57849-813665

I know I haven't been on much. I'm sorry but I have agoraphobia, and I am finally starting to over come it by getting out more. This keeps me very busy and tired. A great thing for me personally, but my online world is starting to suffer so I had to choose my real life. Sorry. I apologize to all my friends on here, my staff at Lilith's Lair, and other lounge owners who's lounges I have been neglecting. I check in often, but don't stay on long anymore. I'm sure things will be back to normal soon, but to be honest, I hope not. As for the fate of Lilith's Lair, I don't know yet. We'll have to see how that plays out. I'd be happy to keep it open if I knew you guys would come and enjoy it, but it seems if I'm not there, no one comes and stays to chat. That thought saddens me because I love that lounge, I'm very proud of it and it's my baby. I'd hate to see it go because of my unintentional neglect. Anyway, most of you who might read this already have my number, so call me sometime, or message me. Eventually I'll get back to ya. Anyway MUAH for now guys!

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TonyaLady of Liliths Lair