So it is another strike yet again for me in the relationship area. I need to stop concerning myself with lil boys and find me a real man. The guy i was kind of seeing decided that this was not the right time for us because of my issues and his. But he didnt tell me this, he told my friend this. All he told me was that he couldnt deal with us at the moment. Did not give me a reason at all and what was worst is that he did it through a text message. How wonderful is that of him???
Yes I have issues but can we all honestly say that none of us dont? Wether it be personal issues or even issues with family, friends or work they are still issues and yet some of us are willing to chance some sort of happiness with another person.
I dunno, I guess im just more confused than anything...maybe he just didnt like me as much as he led me to believe you know. I found out also that he still likes this other girl he used to see so now I doubt that he ever had feelings for me. It sucked cause I really liked him as a person, I still do but if he cant handle me on my bad days then he doesnt deserve me at my worst you know.
I feel like im making myself sound like an idiot because I want to be in a realtionship so bad that I just jump into things. Im tired of the random hookups and friends with benefits thing. Its so overrated now and not even worth it. Yeah ok sure maybe once in a while the sex is good maybe even mind blowing but no matter what as soon as you and that person are done they go to their bed and you go to yours, ALONE! Im tired of that.
Lets be honest here alot of our attraction towards the opposite sex is pysical. Who wants to be with an ugly fat person?? Most of you made read this and go "wow ur shallow" but please be honest with yourself for just a second...seriously! We all know it...No one bases their attraction to someone on personality alone and if they tell you they do then they are lying to themselves. If that were the case then all us fat girls would be in loving realtionships. Lets face it, the only thing most of us big girls have going for us is good personalities, of course you have the fat girls who have great confidence and think their shit dont stink..Those are the nasty ones lol.
Yes I have a great personality, no dont have size 5 body...I would kill for a size 16 at the moment lol...Im a comfortable 18 and no im not fine with it but I am conent and working on it. But it seems like most of the guys I meet out here want you to be skinny as hell, big ass boobs and usually have a head full of rocks...I cant be none of that, never will be...Im a thick girl, with small boobs, a big ass and a brain (although sometimes I do have my moments lol) If I cant find someone to like me for that than they arent worth it. If they cant get over the fact that my family is mad crazy and they drive me nuts and give me stress to the point where i make myself sick with worry then he just cant handle me and maybe doesnt need to be a part of my life.
Just once....Just once I would like to meet a guy who tells me "Fuck the bullshit, its just about me and you. and I wanna help you forget the drama for a while" then he is the guy for me. But I think until then I will continue to walk this road of singleness for a while. No more random hookups, its time to be with me and focus on my happiness for a change. And NO GUY is needed for that. A guy does not make you a person ladies, he does not define you, you define yourself.
I know that one day when I stop looking for that one guy he will somehow find me. Until then its up to him now cause I am done for the moment. I have this pillow on my bed that i look at and sometimes make me think. It has a saying on it that goes for everyone in life...Just 3 lil words but they make the biggest difference in your life.....
Live
Laugh
Love
Sometimes this is all it takes to have that awesome life.
