Lady Victoria Eclectic Pagan's blog: "Handfasting Info"

The Handfasting By Lynn Whitehead In the wood the sound of bell summoned us into the dell eagerly we climbed the path for bride and groom who followed last Then purified by fire and water spun into circle with much laughter by power beyond both time and space the circle made a holy place We danced to raise the sacred power to fill and bless their bridal bower then bride and groom their love declared and song and dance of joy was heard Then feast to honour bridal pair and Lord and Lady, all things fair the woods they rang with merry laughter may joy and fortune follow after!

DO I KNOW YOU (a love song, reincarnated couple finding each other again) © Lady Bridget 1994 Do I know you? Haven't you been with me always? Do I know you? Weren't you there from the beginning? We share the same love of life We share the same gentle spirit A mirror now to my soul, in my heartbeat you'll hear it. Do I know you? Isn't it time that we listened? Do I know you? Lifted the veils from our eyes. I've dreamed of you, I know I have Your face is so familiar I've seen the stars, the verdant hills I've seen the place where we were. Do I know you? Deep in you eyes I can see it Do I know you? The music I hear is your soul. Another time, another life, I'm sure I must have known you It's comfortable, it feels right, I think we might continue Do I know you? Fragments I almost remember Do I know you? Is this what they call deja vu? Let's take it slow, Let's let it grow Let's keep it simple and easy Until the day we both can say quite honestly and freely Do I know you? I think I do.

WEDDING SONG © lyrics Lady Bridget and Sarah Hanson, Sept 9, 1997 sung to the tune of "There Is Love" We are gathered in this sacred space of tenderness and care To witness this most blessed rite, your happiness we share. The union of your spirits here is wondrous to behold This is the greatest magic that the Universe does hold. It is love, it is love. Well a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one As it was in the beginning, is now until the end Woman is the chalice, and the athame the man. And there's love, there is love. Well is there a better reason for becoming man and wife? It is love that brings you here, and it's love that brings you life. For as constant and as steady as the stars that shine above And as solid a foundation as the stones shall be your love. There is love, there is love.

Planning Your Handfasting: Pagan Wedding Considerations for Couples by Selena Fox Take time to reflect on these issues and discuss options with each other as part of your preparations for your handfasting or other Pagan wedding. By working together in deciding the answers to these questions, you can strengthen your process of communication and decision making, plus you will create the framework upon which your wedding ritual can take shape in a planning session with me or whomever you choose to perform your rite. When: On what day do we want to get handfasted? What time of day do we want our handfasting? Where: In what geographical area do we plan to get handfasted? In what specific place do we want to have the handfasting? Do we want the handfasting outdoors or inside? If outside, what shelter is available in case of inclement weather? Who: How large of a group of guests do we want to have at our handfasting? Who are the guests we definitely want to be present? What other guests would we like to be present? Who are the guests we definitely do not want to be present? Who do we want to perform the handfasting? Who do we want to have in what roles in the handfasting? Do we want music at the handfasting, and if so, by whom? Do we want our handfasting photographed, audio taped, video taped, and if so, by whom? How: How long of a handfasting rite do we want to have? Do we want our handfasting to be legally binding? Do we want the handfasting orientation to be primarily spiritual or secular-cultural? How formal do we want our handfasting to be: informal, somewhat formal, very formal? How elaborate do we want our handfasting to be: simple, moderate, complex? Do we want guests seated or standing, and in what configuration during the handfasting? Do we want a reception, and if so, when and where? What other handfasting-related activities, if any, are we planning? How do we plan to end our handfasting day? What: Do we want to have our hands joined together as part of the ceremony? Do we want to jump the broom? What other customs do we want as part of our ceremony? * What special objects do we want on the handfasting altar? What is the color theme for our handfasting? What form of clothing and colors do we plan to wear? What flowers, if any, do we plan to wear and/or carry? What flowers or other plants do we plan to have as decorations? What ideas do we have for our handfasting ceremony design and decor? Why: Why do we as individuals and as a couple want to become handfasted? What does getting handfasted mean to us? What do we hope that getting handfasted will do for us and our relationship? Planning 2-6 months in advance we begin with a consultation session with Selena (minister) to set date, adapt an outline and prepare for wedding. Consultation may be by phone or face-to-face (See Consultation pages for details). Rehearsal 24 - 4 hours before wedding begins a walk-through with couple and others with roles in the ceremony is undertaken. Site Preparation 1-4 hours before a wedding begins the area is consecrated, an altar is set-up and we hold a final briefing. Arrival of Guests A group processional entry or the direction of seating by ushers occurs; live or recorded music may be played. Processional of Couple and attendants process after signal by minister (Selena). Special Acknowledgments Couple acknowledges family, ancestors, and/or special guests. Attunement A moment of interfaith Divine attunement is accessed through silence, toning, and/or imagery. Circle Casting Using imagery, sound, and/or movement. Elemental Blessings Couple journeys with minister(s) to each of the compass points to receive a blessing of the Direction and its associated Element. (Tools and qualities have been pre-selected during Planning session.) Earth: North, the Physical Realm tools: a pentacle of salt, a dish of fertile soil, or a platter with a round loaf bread qualities: good health, a happy home, groundedness, and fertility Air: East, the Mental Realm tools: incense, feather, or bell qualities: wisdom, good communication, learning, and intellectual growth Fire: South, the Action Realm tools: candle or wand qualities: creativity, harmony, sensuality, and vitality Water: West, the Emotional Realm tools: water from a chalice or bowl qualities: understanding, emotional support, intuition, and friendship Spirit: Center, the Spiritual Realm tools: anointing oil, crystal, or other Spirit symbol qualities: balance, wholeness, integrity, and spiritual growth Spiritual Marriage as Sacred Union of Female - Male aspects of Divinity Goddess Evocation Divine Female principle evoked in the Bride God Evocation Divine Male principle evoked in the Groom Consecration of Rings The minister(s) bless rings and/or other tokens of exchange. Exchanging of Vows and Rings Bride and Groom speak commitments to each other. Handfasting with Cords Cords from Bride and Groom are joined and their hands fastened. Blessings Well wishes on the marriage spoken by minister(s) and/or guests. Sacred Union With visualization, movement, and/or sound, "Joined in Love" or other chant may be voiced. Assimilation In silence, or with music, prose, or poetry. Marriage Pronouncement Verbal affirmation by minister(s) that the couple is now married. Sharing Couple shares food and/or beverage. Thanksgiving Couple and minister(s) give thanks to the Divine at directions. Uncasting the Circle The formal ritual ends with a benediction. Broom Jump Couple jumps together while audience cheers. Celebration Receiving line, photographs, feasting, gift opening, merry-making. http://www.circlesanctuary.org/events/weddings.html

Season/Month Although Beltane is becoming a popular time to hold Handfasting rites, May has traditionally been considered an unlucky month in which to wed, since that is the Gods' sacred marriage month. (It seems kind of like upstaging the Goddess on Her wedding day). This custom predates the Christianization of Pagan rites. It explains why June is such a popular month for weddings. I suggest you wait until the waxing moon in June. Samhain is also becoming a popular time for Handfasting Rites. Day/Hour The best day and time of the week to perform a Handfasting rite is either Monday or Friday at the first hour after sunrise or the first hour after sunset (but do cross reference this with the placement of the Moon and other astrological factors.) The worst days are Tuesday and Saturday, any time. If you can't make a Monday or Friday wedding, then at least try to perform the rite during the Magickal hour of Venus or the Moon. If you don't know how to figure out the hour of the Moon or the hour of Venus, Estelle Daniels does a great job of explaining magickal hours in her book "Astrologickal Magick" page 88 "Planetary Hours". Astrology (Ignore this at your Peril!) The best astrological time to perform the Handfasting rite is when the Moon is waxing to Full, well-disposed (that is: no hard angles to any signs, no angles to Mars or Saturn at all, and not Void-Of-Course) and in one of the Fixed signs. For more astrological hints, check out March and McEvers' book "The Only Way to Learn About Horary and Electional Astrology Volume VI" page 139.

(An Oral Teaching of the Faery Tradition Of Witchcraft) Alone, awesome, complete within Herself, the Goddess, She whose name cannot be spoken, floated in the abyss of the outer darkness, before the beginning of all things. And as She looked into the curved mirror of black space, She saw by her own light her radiant reflection, and fell in love with it. She drew it forth by the power that was in Her and made love to Herself, and called Her "Miria, the Wonderful". Their ecstasy burst forth in the single song of all that is, was, or ever shall be, and with the song came motion, waves that poured outward and became all the spheres and circles of the worlds. The Goddess became filled with love, swollen with love, and She gave birth to a rain of bright spirits that filled the worlds and became all beings. But in that great movement, Miria was swept away, and as She moved out from the Goddess She became more masculine. First She became the Blue God, the gentle , laughing God of love. Then She became the Green One, vine-covered, rooted in the earth, the spirit of all growing things. At last She became the Horned God, the Hunter whose face is the ruddy sun and yet dark as Death. But always desire draws Him back toward the Goddess, so that He circles Her eternally, seeking to return in love. All began in love; all seeks to return to love. Love is the law, the teacher of wisdom, and the great revealer of mysteries.

Now you have lit a fire and that fire should not go out. The two of you now have a fire that represents love, understanding and a philosophy of life. It will give you heat, food, warmth and happiness. The new fire represents a new beginning - a new life and a new family. The fire should keep burning; you should stay together. You have lit the fire for life, until old age separates you.

Father Sky please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honor Mother Earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts We honour wind - and ask we sail though life safe and calm as in our father's arms We honour water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together.

Apache Wedding Blessing Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficult and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

It is often said that it is love that makes the world go round. However, without doubt, it is friendship which keeps our spinning existence on an even keel. True friendship provides so many of the essentials for a happy life - it is the foundation on which to build an enduring relationship, it is the mortar which bonds us together in harmony, and it is the calm, warm protection we sometimes need when the world outside seems cold and chaotic. True friendship holds a mirror to our foibles and failings, without destroying our sense of worthiness. True friendship nurtures our hopes, supports us in our disappointments, and encourages us to grow to our best potential. {Bride's Name} and {Groom's Name} came together as friends. Today, they pledge to each other not only their love, but also the strength, warmth and, most importantly, the fun of true friendship.