This morning, I rose up again at dawn to start my day with different things planned from the norm. I made it a point to go to the local court and provide support on behalf of Ella, a dog found dead and abandoned in a local residence and struck a chord in my heart. In the news at the following: http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080617/NEWS01/806170334 The defense attorney for a local Cocoa woman accused of moving out of her home and leaving her dog behind to starve to death wants nearly all the evidence in the case to be thrown out, arguing that police illegally searched the house. According to a motion filed by West Palm Beach attorney Andrew Stine, police shouldn't have entered Christine Abrams' home without a warrant unless there was reason to believe they or someone inside was in immediate danger, or that evidence was about to be destroyed. It was during that search that police found the decayed body of Abrams' German shepherd, Ella, locked in a crate in the living room, a bag of dog food mere feet away. Abrams, 30, faces up to a year in jail and a $5,000 fine if convicted on two misdemeanor counts of animal cruelty. She has pleaded not guilty. "There was ample time to secure the home and then apply for a search warrant," Stine wrote. A scheduling hearing set for today was pushed back to June 27 so that it could be consolidated with a hearing on Stine's motion. But animal lovers said they still plan to rally at 8 a.m. today outside the Moore Justice Center in Viera. (I was there!) Their demand: Reject any plea negotiations for Abrams. The hearing delay "only helps our cause because it gives us more time to fire up people and get them organized," said rally organizer Nick Stack, 26, of Merritt Island. The case has drawn worldwide attention from activists who are urging prosecutors to pursue the harshest sentence possible for Abrams, who police said told them she abandoned her home because the water was turned off. She said she left Ella behind because the male friend she moved in with didn't like dogs, police said. When news first broke of Abrams' March 12 arrest, Stack and thousands of other animal lovers from Thailand to Texas signed petitions, created T-shirts and a Web site and flooded the state attorney's office with letters urging prosecutors to charge her with felony cruelty. They expressed outrage when prosecutors reduced the charges against Abrams to a misdemeanor, saying state statutes on animal cruelty are unclear. Their frustration intensified when court documents were released showing Ella's right leg was amputated in November, the result of what Abrams told a veterinarian was a leash that had wrapped around the dog's limb while she was away. Now, they hope their public outcry will urge the state to follow the lead of other prosecutors who gained felony convictions in similar cases. Police said they responded to Abrams' home to investigate a complaint by a neighbor, worried that he hadn't seen Abrams since Christmas. Officers saw flies swarming the window and Ella on her side in a cage in the living room. Suspecting "foul play," Cocoa detective Eric Austin said in a report that police broke into the home, then began a missing person investigation for Abrams, described by the neighbor as an attentive pet owner often seen playing and walking the dog. Police spent five hours calling area hospitals, jails, relatives and employers, only to find Abrams at her friend's home -- less than six miles away, police said. She'd moved there about two months earlier, they said. In an e-mailed statement, Wayne Holmes, chief of operations at the state attorney's office, said deprivation of food and water is a misdemeanor under state statute. To file a felony charge, prosecutors would have needed scientific evidence to establish the cause of death. But Ella's body had decomposed so badly a necropsy was impossible. I am not only outraged as to this motion, but also at the attorney who filed it and the legal system that needs to waste more tax dollars postponing and rescheduling another date on the calendar when there are other issues on the agenda in this clear cut and dry case. Our laws and legal system is so skewed and the only winners in anything are the lawyers. Sorry - this event put me in a sour mood and I do not mean to spread any negativity but would love some support right now and appreciate the vent.

Right now I don’t know whether to be pissed, insulted, taken for granted, foolish or just plain stupid. I don’t know about other people and why they do what they do, but if someone is going to use me as a cover to another for a misconception, deceit or outright lie, I would expect to at least be consulted about it before the act and at very least be made aware about it as soon as possible. I know I am in no position to judge anyone yet my morals and standards do have a certain code of ethics. Friends do not use friends without their consent or minimum knowledge so that the friendship can choose the path that eventually leads to destruction. This past week, I have been “Dear Abbey”, a priest in a confessional and put into an awkward position between domestic partners thanks to the lack of communication. A so called “friend/sister/daughter” divulged to me that she went and had a tryst with a co-worker while her husband is away at military training. Mind you, I do not condemn nor condone such actions, but only pointed out certain facts… she is in a marriage that seems to be of convenience for the sake of her son of three years of age cause all she does is bitch that she does not enjoy the union of husband and wife relations and has no time to herself to do what she wants to do. What that is, is of no relevance whatsoever cause to me, once you open your legs and give birth to a child you chose that path and have relented your days of being single and independent without the “ball and chain” of matrimony and responsibility for the life that is brought into this world by your actions and choice to do so in this day and age. Again, I do not condemn nor condone alternatives, but this is what was chosen and all circumstances that are a result of those initial actions are now part of being a responsible parent and mother. Instead of going into the tirade of moral rights or wrongs, I stuck to basic facts and asked the Planned Parenthood type of questions like; Did you use proper birth control? Are you aware of sexually transmitted diseases? How can you be sure that you are not being lied to and have you seriously thought of all the possible circumstances if a slim possibility of getting any number of results like herpes, genital warts, caught by your spouse, work conditions and relationship ties with this individual as well as all the possible implications of guilt, fantasy, and a plethora of not just the physical, but emotional implications? What about the effects your actions will have on your child and husband in the near and far future? etc… Which all resulted in the answers I expected - which are in essence denial of certain truths that thankfully I do not have to personally deal with. Instead of the seven year itch – it was mentioned it’s more like a three year itch which makes me wonder why did one bother at all to say “I DO” and why on this earth are you telling me this? This led me to question the basis of the friendship. Why is this person my friend? If she can lie to herself and cheat on her husband, do I really want to remain friends with her? If she’s going to do this to her family, what will she eventually do to me? What do I offer and expect in return to continue what once was and never can be again? I have to remain true unto my own self and set morals and standards or I jeopardize my own growth as a human being learning from mistakes, weaknesses or just plain selfishness. I have grown past that and extend my wisdom and experience beyond personal gain and have kept silent only to be put yet again into a difficult situation that has me angry and disappointed. Another mutual friend has gone and told her domestic partner something using me and my husband as an excuse without my/our knowledge. Attempting to call her back after 2 messages yesterday evening and reaching where she was (the home of the first friend) and watching the young son so the other friend could attend a mandated meeting for work – or so I was told led me to believe all was kosher so to say. Being woken with a phone call this morning again requesting my assistance by friend #1 to watch her son so she could get some errands done at the local mall, I begrudgingly agreed for the sake of the child. Granted, we had a wonderful day coloring, at the park, playing with the critters, feeding the fish and ducks and such, she came back to pick him up and I offered dinner which would be ready in an hour. This gave her time to relax and unwind and have some help with an active 3 year old that was a sheer joy even if challenging and acting out of sorts in her company. While dinner was being finalized, both wound up passed out from sheer exhaustion and dinner went as planned and bellies stuffed. Everything done, with thanks all was gathered and mommy and son left in a good mood to prepare for bath time at home and putting away all the goodies from shopping. All cleaned up and before things got too late, I again contacted friend number 2 and got the partner on the phone first who is also a dear friend. Now he is in a wheelchair and a very independent and strong individual of which I respect as well as love like a brother. We chatted and spoke about the mundane as well as missing the group ritual last night. I informed him of what my hubby and I did and have need to take care of transportation issues and vehicle maintenance which is why we were not able to make it and that is when I was informed that his significant other told him she was with my husband and I out enjoying an night on the town. RUT ROH! I just blew my friends cover and had no clue! He passed the phone to her and all I could say was “I think I blew your cover… why didn’t you return my call or at least inform me?” and her response was… “well, er… yes you did, I gotta go” and hung up the phone. Now what the hell am I supposed to think and do in this situation? I usually have all the answers, and seriously in my gut I feel the need to sever all ties, yet truly care with my heart and soul about all these people involved in deceit and lies to each other and feel like some pawn being played. I know I have to face the facts and am obliged to be honest and truthful for it is the only way I know how to be. It hurts deeply but I know that I do not want to get in the middle of a soap opera situation, as I have my own issues to deal with and have not, nor will not use another as an excuse to weave a web of lies to harm or protect someone from facts. Communication is essential in any relationship – whether it be husband/wife, parent/child, friend to friend etc., etc… Honesty is the best policy and no matter how hard you try, once you start lying/deceiving/withholding information from one another, that trust is broken and cannot be mended. Nothing remains the same so the only constant is change – for better or worse – it is up to the individuals asking the very same questions as I am… What to do, what to do… Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive! Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17. Scottish author & novelist (1771 - 1832)

Why is it that funerals bring out the worst in people? Is it grief or is it guilt? Today was Eleanor's Memorial Service, pre-arranged as her wishes were similar to that of her husbands with a few personal requests. No problem, I knew it was coming. October 2004 I cleared out the spare bedroom and arranged it so he and I could take care of mom in our home, which meant getting rid of double and even triple household items and goods to make it roomy, comfortable and safe. Thank goodness for a 2 car garage that wound up being storage and donations to the needy in the community after hurricanes and other disasters. Having only known her 5 years, I had the pleasure of listening to the stories of her glory days from her son Daniel who would have been my husband had we wed before he passed away in April 2006. So in all actuality - I was a "daughter" without the marriage license or birth certificate. I had to stop working a full time job as it was necessary for me to take care of family first. That was my priority when Dan was alive and even more so when he passed on. She gave me a reason to keep my promise to her and her son that she would never wind up in a nursing home to die alone, which I did with honor, dignity, respect and pride. Yes, there were moments, especially at the end I thought I would lose it but since I was still alive, it did not mean to stop living and that is how Eugene and I found each other and were bound in marriage this past May and has helped me tremendously with her care and my sanity. Upon Eleanor's passing, I cast aside any and all emotions and feelings of negativity about her daughter Claudia and was as supportive and as much of a sister to her as anyone in my life. Eugene even took a day off work to accompany me to the funeral home at her request to assist with the final arrangements. The three of us were to be seated in the front row and share with those who attended a little bit about the life of the woman we all loved. In preparation for today, I had written a lovely eulogy as a final farewell, most appropriate for her service in a Presbyterian Church (and anyone who knows me knows I don't do churches or funerals as what is common these days). Upon arriving to get Claudia at her place of residence, I find that no one is there. OK - she decided to walk over instead (or so I thought). Eugene was not able to make the trip back and forth again without jeopardizing his new position so I went alone into the church. No, it did not fall down and I was not struck by lightning... At 10 minutes to 2, people started to arrive, some I knew, some I did not. Again, understandable because I have not been in her life as long as all those who abandoned her for the past 7 years. Still, Claudia was nowhere to be found. Finally the organ starts playing at 2:00 PM and the pastor went into a room and was followed a few minutes later by Claudia with one of Eleanor's oldest and supposed dearest friends. They were ushered into the front row, while I was left to "blend in" with the rest of the attendees. A lovely prelude of the common variety of dignified verses and sayings was heralded by the minister and then he asked Claudia to say a few words. Well, I felt as if I was slapped in the face, knife plunged deep into my chest, and hot fiery pokers added a twist when Claudia told the congregation that mother "died alone" and a brief mention of me being a "caretaker" and nothing of her brother mentioned whatsoever in her deliverance of her "iconization" of the mother she loved so much went on in an inaudible babble of wordy expressions. This so called "loving daughter" had put her mother through hell when she had to move out of DC and came running home to momma after papa passed in 2000. The lovely "clean home" and spectacular livelihood of this once proud, Scottish, proper woman with a formidable personality was a shambles in days for years as Mother was experimented with medically and financially finagled to support her daughter's "good intentions". (The reason that she wound up living with her son and I instead while she still had some of her wits about her). I sat there numb and in disbelief as to the outrageous verbiage being spewed forth that I thought for sure if there is a God, that this place was going to light up like the fourth of July after a nuclear holocaust! I kept my cool (I hope it was not too apparent as to my discomfort) till the end and was as dignified as possible following her and the older companion after the exiting procession and stood firmly at the end of the "family reception line" to thank all who attended where I believe I felt I belonged. Those that knew Eleanor introduced themselves as I extended my thanks and introduced myself as her "second daughter", the woman that was the love of her son that was not mentioned in joining her at the pearly gates but was happy to be with his mother again with his pops. A few astonished looks and surprised comments passed that they did not know and were so sorry for my loss and thanked me for taking care of her as I did. My response was, well, there was no one else who had the fortitude and honor to make that sacrifice for a loved one and I kept my promise to both her son and to her that she would not be alone. Too bad none of these individuals were around to see or be bothered with any of the really hard part of her life. The really ironic part of the whole ordeal was I found out that the gentleman that sat next to me in the pew was Claudia's Attorney of all people that started all the legal nonsense I have been dealing with since the death of her brother. Talk about being b*tch slapped yet again! Well, to say the least - all my preparation, historical anecdotes and written passages to honor a wonderful woman that usurped the past three years of my life was never heard by those who came to pay their respects. Too bad they really do not know the whole story and I suppose could not handle the reality that more family "feuds" and rivalries begin when someone dies due to greed, hate and guilt, for that was apparent by the deliverance of what was audible and heard from one person's perspective. I guess I am above that pettiness and am trying to take this as a learning lesson. Material items may mean the world to some people, but the world is now wide open for me to explore with my soulmate and start anew, for I am not sure how long my home will be thanks to the "Law" but damn to hell, I'm not going to be taken for granted or taken advantage of and will exact my "compensation" one way or another. They say Karma Bites, well I guess Karma never opened up Pandora's Box and I'm It! OK - I vented and feel better. Thanks for letting me rant and putting up with me if you had read this far. Know I love you and do mean it! {{{HUGS}}}

Why is blood thicker than water? Why are there “laws” that meddle with the affairs of common sense? What stranger knows what to do with the “affairs” of a sweet, senile old woman? What child has the right to outright pillage their parent, endanger their well-being and show repeated lack of care hence hospitalizations and “experimental” procedures performed on them? Why do I continue to fight what appears to be a losing battle that the only winners are the attorneys? OK Confused now? So am I as well as the lawyers and even the Judge! In case you need to catch up… read the following blog: http://www.cherrytap.com/blog/24690/168504# So why today’s rant? Attorneys, Judges, Laws and Family – just do not mix!!! I want to know what happened to common sense and hard EVIDENCE (of which none is admissible in court so as the “law” states) regarding each and every stupid proceeding and filing and total waste of time and money. Claudia Margot Carl is the 61 year old “baby boomer” daughter of Eleanor and would have been my “sister-in-law” had her brother and I wed. Well, that did not happen and I am now the sole caregiver for her mother. Eleanor moved in with Daniel and I on October 28th, 2005. Since her brother’s death on April 27, 2006, Claudia has been nothing short of a thorn in my side and bane of my existence. Having known Eleanor prior to her moving in and seeing the condition of her home and care of her health under the “love and admiration” of a “caring daughter” I am obligated under the highest standards of morality and ethics to continue to defend a batty old lady’s honor and defend her rights because she has no mind to do so. Exactly three days after her brother’s death I was finally able to get a hold of her and all she asked me was “did he execute his Will?” Of which Daniel had a draft finally made up but never signed, so totally screwed me with my cars and house, them being in his name to protect me from my ex-husband (another “soap opera” story)… Anyway, back to focus here – I said I did not know and will let her know after I make all the arrangements. No offer to do anything whatsoever, even in caring for her dear mother while I grieved the loss of a loved one. One week to the day, I receive in the mail court papers for “Emergency Guardianship” proceedings. What was I to do other than contact Eleanor’s attorney and proceed to go through the motions of what was necessary to fulfill my legal obligations? I am the Appointed Guardian according to Eleanor’s legal documentation now that her son is with his father. Isn’t that what lawyers are supposed to do – protect their clients rights according to law? Well apparently the laws are bent according to who has the most money and can get the best lawyers. Even slandering and mud slinging by other attorneys is permissible, but not documentation in Claudia’s own writing telling her family to “fuck off and get a life” or bank records of her obtaining equity loans and credit cards in her mother’s name to the tune of over $260,000 spent over a 5 year period. My life is at stake here now because of Probate… yup – Next of Kin according to Florida law is the sole inheritor of “Daniel’s Estate”, of which is Eleanor. In the case she expires, it all goes to guess who? Claudia! I have been fighting and will continue to do so for my livelihood here. My home and transportation is now going to be part of “Eleanor’s Estate” and I have no legal say in the matter. After 6 years of blood, sweat, tears, effort as well as financial input to making a house a home, I can loose it all to a greedy, selfish SOB that is an ungrateful baby booming idiot! For crying out loud… her mother is not dead and she is fighting to have her last will changed and challenged her own mother’s mental capacity! She would rather have a total stranger handle her mother’s affairs while I administer her 24/7 care. I want nothing other than what was already mine, my home and vehicles. I could not give a rat’s ass about her mother’s money or possessions, and Daniel’s and mine should not be a part of that! Why are the scales of justice blind-folded? I now can tell you why… it is because she does not want to see the fallacy of the “judicial system” in its full glory and the pockets of lawyers fatten up with another $5,000 retainer plus expenses. Justice is blind, deaf and dumb… money talks, common sense is dead! P.S. Eleanor’s lawyer is an excellent attorney but because of a “conflict of interest”, cannot represent the both of us even though all we both want is the same thing. How phucked up is that? Grrrrr….. I despise lawyers… does anyone know someone that can do something to help?