To the couple fucking on the third floor apt across the street from my office:
We at X Associates would like to thank you for your weekly Friday show. every Friday at 4 we can count on you to get it on and on and on.
I must admit my surprise in a city full of skyscrapers that someone in a third floor apt in midtown doesn't see the need for window coverings of any sort especially when there is a 17 floor office building across the street.
I only can assume you are feeling the need to keep up with the porn shop that opened up on the first floor of your building. though I question your intelligence I applaud your lusty lifestyle.
Last weeks super freaky positions sex was great fun. all the engineers here are still trying to work out the logistics on a couple of those positions, and we are fairly sure that one of them is physically impossible due to the stresses it would put on the female body.
This weeks theme seems to be speed fucking from behind...and was that a third person in the room we saw, we aren't sure but oh what randy fun. and once again we are amused, and titillated.
You have no idea what a welcome break you bring when the call comes from that side of our office that the fuckers are at it again.
The cubicles clear out and you have 20 some odd men, and one woman (me) pressed against the windows.
As much as we enjoy the current show we do have some ideas that could really bring it to the next level of enjoyment for your adoring viewers.
1. Invest in some kind of glare free glass for the window. the glare gets nasty on overcast days like today and we could barely make out who was slapping who on the ass.
2. Move a bit closer to the window...not too close, just say a foot. this give us the viewer the premium viewing situation.
3. Man...get rid of the chubby girl, from certain angles well she is just too much woman for us.
4. Sex against the window, just think about the fun that would be had for all, you then could see us we could see you, it would be a wonderous intimate act for the 25 of us.
5. Maybe add one more show a week, I know last week you did a bonus wednesday show and it went over great, it really warmed us up for friday.
I would really like once again to thank you on behalf of us all here at X Associates. you make what is the best day of the work week here even better, because nothing can beat seeing two young people as yourself fuck like monkeys right before we leave this hellhole for the weekend.
Little Johnny and Willy were twins, and for their 13th birthday, Willy got a bicycle while Little Johnny got a little portable radio.
Willy hopped up on his bike and went to town.
On the way he sees the Gerald's house on fire, firetrucks, the whole bit.
He spins around and peddles as fast as he could back home.
"Little Johnny! Little Johnny! Guess what? I saw a fire at old man Gerald's! There was fire engines! Firemen! and EVERYTHING!!!"
Little Johnny looks up and says, "Yeah, I know, I heard about it 10 minutes ago on the news on my radio."
Willy scowls and jealously mutters, "You and your fuckin' radio!" and storms off, to go riding again.
In town he sees just about the most exciting thing ever! Police, sirens, and all kinds of excitement, because the local bank had been robbed.
He races home as fast as he can, starts hollering before he's even completely in the door,
"Little Johnny! Little Johnny! Guess what?"
Little Johnny dryly interrupts with, "The bank was robbed?"
Willy scowls and storms off, muttering, "You and your fuckn' radio!"
Well, this time he pedals clear through town, and out into the countryside on the other side.
A few miles up the road he sees a poor little pig with its head stuck in a fence.
He grins, parks the bike, climbs down the bank, pulls his pants down and gives it to the porker.
Then he races as fast as he could all the way home... "Little Johnny!
Little Johnny! Guess what? I just had my first sexual experience!"
Little Johnny looks up, dismisses Willy with a wave, "Bah! In a pig's ass you did!"
"You and your fuckin' radio!" mutters Willy, as he cycles off.
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scroll down to the bottom to read the COMMENTS left by buyer:
they should have WARNING!!! in big letters on the bag
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a short drive. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not. People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before! I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there. So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon………….