Phoenix's blog: "Feelings!"

Today as I lay sleeping in your arms, I had never felt a feeling of peace and comfort as I did at that very moment! Looking into your eyes, brought happiness into my life. After the time that I have spent with you, the laughter and happiness that we have shared has meant more to me than anything in the world! Now that the time has come that we have to part, I realize that this isn't good bye, because I know that I will see you again. I have realized that the feelings we share are not just lust or infatuation, but a true love that no one could ever tear apart. I promise that no matter how far apart we are, our love will continue to grow and we will see each other again!! I LOVE YOU BABY WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!! Though we may be many many miles apart, I promise that I will love you enough for you to feel it that far away!

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I try my best to let go, when I know that its not possible. The one thing in life that makes me happy stands right in front of me! I want to reach out to you, but not sure what repercussions it might bring. I stand back in the shadows, waiting for the pain to fade. How long will I stay here, not even I know. Life is so confusing when the one you love you can not hold. So close but yet so far away, the only thing I have left are the memories. I put away the bad and only focus on what made me smile! The day I was wrapped so safely in your arms, is the only though that runs though my head. The way your arms felt around me and the gentleness of you lips against mine! I know that is in the past, and no one knows what the future will hold. I can only hope and pray that we can be back together one day! I know I am only writing this for myself, but I guess it helps with the pain! I love you now as I loved you then, can only wonder how it will all end! You hold a piece of my heart, do with it what you will, I can only hope you will treasure it, this is my wish! If good-byes are what I have to look forward to, I will approach them with my head held high, put I can not promise no tears will be in my eyes! Please just hold on, I know there has to be hope. If there isnt a chance just please tell me so! I will wait as long as I can, forever it will be, for you are the only man in this world that with me I can see! As one last wish I can make on this day, I want you to love me as you did that one sweet day!
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As I sit here listening to the one and only song that reminds me of you, I cant help but cry and ask myself why! You are everything to me and I dont understand exactly what went wrong. Did you really love me, or again was someone telling me exactly what I wanted to hear? My life has been turned upside down because of the fact that I love you so damn much! I dont want to let go, I dont want to forget! I want you back in my life where I thought you wanted to be! The one person that has been there for you when no one else was, the one person that loved you unconditionally, ME, why did you turn your back on me? What have I done to lose every ounce of love and trust you have in me? I will NOT let go and I will NOT forget how much I love you! If you ever need anyone, I am always here for you and I love you!!!!!!! You can say what you want to try to hurt me, but I promise, I cant be hurt worse than I already am! Yea u may be an asshole, but I guess thats why I love you so much!
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Why do I feel as if I have turned everyones lives upside down? I dont know what I have done to make u mad or even hate me, but I do know it hurts like hell! I cant breathe knowing this is happening to us. You are everything to me baby and for what ever reason you are doing this, I am sorry! I just wish I knew the answers to the millions of questions going through my head right now! I know this probably sucks, but I cant even think straight right now! I will leave it at this and hope I know the answers later!

The wind blows around us in an ancient lullaby This place we found with walls touching the sky. Our wedding inside from the world we'd conceal and wander off secretly to show what we feel. If only the statues from inside could talk They'd lead us to path's that others have walked. The stories of live such as ours would be denied. The halls are quiet now waiting in disguise The archways reveal morning light from the skies. Minute by minute the clock hands march on As guest start to arrive the silence is gone My heart beat is rapid as I long to say How much I love you on this special day. And ow that I knew it was you all along that gave to my heart a special love song. As I walk to the stairs and proceed down the way I feel the ancient spirits begin to play. You can detect a slight sent of Marr I see you there, oh how handsome you are. Standing above them, a smile on our faces we have love on our minds in far away places. We silently chat our way through it, of course Then you offer your hand to climb on your horse. As everyone watches with gleams in their eyes We silently wave and bid everyone goodbye. The silence returns as we ride out to the night We turn to the other underneath the moonlight. And the binding is etched upon your should and mine A love that will continue to endure for all time. The spirits have given us their blessing too Souls fused by the heat of love so true. This place will stand as legacy to all That when you hear your soul mate call Grab a hold of them and hear your hearts hum.

Gazing into his blue eyes when we first met, I knew then he was heaven sent. All I ever dreamed of, and angel from above. He had no idea from the start true love, Id found in my heart. One of a kind, Love that last a lifetime All I ever dreamed of, and angel from above. Still, his smile, my breath it takes away wanting, needing, to hold him, so much to say. All my prayers answered when into my life he came to me, he is everything. All I ever dreamed of, and angel from above. Like the moon, stars, morning sunrise so much beauty, so much grace. He's even more through my eyes. All I ever dreamed of, an angel from above. Together, Forever, I long to be can you see, Youre ever precious and sweet, the only one for me. All I ever dreamed of, an angel from above. Your gentle words, your tender touch, life meaning so much. wrapped tightly in each others arms I wish to be. With you I feel so free. A vow I made, forever, you'll have my love. All I ever dreamed of, an angel from above.

"Better Days" Its hard to hold my head up and keep living my life straight I'll be done in a couple years if I keep going at this rate Every night I think about you and to the good Lord I pray He will let me enter his kingdom and be with you again someday Sometimes I close my eyes and think about the past When we were in school together acting fools and cutting up in class Now you are gone and I am here all alone It all happened so fast I really missed those days that we were together Now all I have are pictures A broken heart and some letters Although those days were cool I knew they wouldnt last THis is a time to take a stand To lean on each other and give a helping hand Though those times were tough I am amazed of how we stick together and await those better days