xWhiteTrashBeautifulx's blog: "Everyday stuff..."

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. YOUR SKIN IS STILL THERE, AND TO ME THE NEW LAYOUT IS ALOT EASIER THAN HAVING TO SEARCH PEOPLE'S PAGES FOR LINKS AND STASH, AND PICTURES AND SHIT. THIS SITE ISN'T MEANT TO BE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS. YOU SHOULD JUST BE GLAD THE SHIT'S STILL FREE. MY GOD, DONT' YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO BITCH? GET A FUCKING LIFE. DAZZY *MOTHAFUCKIN* LYNN (GOT PROBLEMS WITH THIS? FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME AT XCURVYSPITFIREX@AOL.COM)

Dazzy is really Lindsey Goolsby. A girl born in a small town to unwealthy parents who worked their asses off everyday just for us to survive, only to have their daughter grow up and disappoint them both. I have no job, no car, and no life. I've gone through numerous relationships because I fall too hard too fast. I started smoking at 16 because my daddy told me not too. Started weed because I decided to hang out with the wrong people because my parents told me not to. The entire time I was in school I was picked on for being poor, fat, ugly, blah blah blah...I was depressed so I ate, and because I ate, I got bigger. I lost my virginity to a fucker who said he loved me. Fell in love with the biggest asshole on earth, who I should've known to avoid because he was virginity-taker's BEST FRIEND...Lost him to a nasty whore because I let him fuck her. The next two years were hell because I was heartbroken, stupid, and believed he'd come back. Got over that, started dating again...Every relationship since has been a disaster...It's been love, lose, love, lose, love, lose...It has caused me to shut down and not trust near as easy as I used to or open up fully to the people who DO MATTER. I can't hold a job because I have a bad attitude and a 'fuck the world' demeanor...I hate authority. I hate snobby whores...And I hate conceited people even though I'm not conceited, I'm convinced...I could have any man I wanted...IF I WANTED ONE. I have one, and God knows I love him, but sometimes I want to ring his neck. I've lost friends due to the fact that I'm bisexual, and been disowned by family because I'm stubborn and refuse to take advice or confide in them BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE BIG MOUTHS. I've been a drug addict for over three years, and I've decided it's time to grow up. I'm clean now. Have been for months. Don't care who knows...I've made mistakes, but hell, maybe I like being imperfect. I drive too fast, wear too much makeup, and don't always say excuse me when I burp. I prefer to say "That was sexy!" People love my sense of humor, but they don't realize it's a cover up for the fact that I'm depressed. I'm nowhere near the life I dream of, and it'll take forever to get to where I want to be. I feel so pathetic because my friends live in this fuckin computer...I laugh to hide my pain. I push people away that try to help me because many before have given up...So please guys, don't give up on me yet...One day, you'll see me on the big screen somewhere...and I promise, I won't forget any of you. <3 Dazzy

As I sit here wondering... Still... How my life got to this place... Still..drowning... Drowning alone, still, in a tub filled with dreams.. Dreams... Fame, fortune, and bigger things...gone... I've... Gone to that place..The place of broken... Hearts... My heart...Your heart...THEIR hearts... Unbelieving.. Unbelieving that dreams will come true...Tears... Tears, tears... Lost friends...family death...LOST TIME... Time... That will never return...Fast...Unrelenting... and blah fucking blah...

So I got stood up...ME...OF ALL people. ME. I wanted to go out. My best friend said I could go to the bar with her. She was gonna turn around and come get me. The car "runs hot". Her boyfriend takes them to the bar, and turns all the way back around to come get me. NEVER FUCKING MIND I tell him. It's not worth the drive. On top of that...I don't know where my girlfriend is...Haven't heard from her since she left work...Stood up TWICE in one day. Damn, don't you wish you had my life? :'(

Hi, I'm Lindsey. I have a fiance', and a GIRLFRIEND. I'm not interested in dating you, I'm not interested in sleeping with your girlfriend so you can watch... *NO, I do NOT want to see your cock pictures...*The cock is NOT the prettiest thing in the world to look at...* *Just because I fan you/rate your profile/rate your pics DOES NOT MEAN I want you. GET OVER YOURSELVES. *If you wanna see my NSFW pictures, FAN ME FIRST. If I don't answer you in the shoutbox right away, it probably means I'm busy or I'm not here. I stay signed in 24/7 and I'm NOT ALWAYS sitting here. Just a few things you should know in order to STAY on my friend's list... <3 Dazzy

I never said that you were a disease Linz. I do NOT agree with your lifestyle that is true. I never said you forced anything on me, if that was the case I would have stopped hanging around you long before then. I do miss those days Lindsey, I miss you and your mama. I understand what youre saying about Cheri and Kristen, but if or when you talk to cheri, ask her just how often we talk or see each other.. we were the CLOSEST of friends and I will admit it, it makes me smile when I think about it. I know it does to. If I had a choice, I would want u to know and watch Emily grow.... Its not that Im against you and i thought I made it clear that i did not agree with your LIFESTYLE... that is it... I know deep down you have a good heart but my ONLY point is to explain that we have grown apart... Im not even sure WHERE or how it happened.. I didnt stop being your best friend when you told me u were bisexual, yeah i will admit it freaked the heck outa me but i got over that, and I felt a lil weird around you but I got used to it... after that things just started to change.. I sit here and try to think about what it was and I honestly cannot think of a single thing that started us this way.... I dont want you to feel you have to justify yourself to me ever... you are a strong female and im glad for that, I understand you have your beliefs as well as I do. I just dont know where we went wrong.. It wasnt that you turned bisexual, and i admit i dont agree with it but you are right,that shouldnt come between any two friends. Im sorry Linz. I know Ive had all my strong points going WAY overboard... but that is the person that I have grown into... so why should I be apologizing to anyone? I really shouldnt but I do to you because we were soooo much closer to each other than ANY other friend I had... You know I still got all those goofy letters your made 4 me in math class? And Im never getting rid of that fraggle rock book.. its in my keepsakes box.. anywho, i hope you take this to heart... I am sorry for the way things have turned out.... Mel **Now what the fuck does it mean when she says she has no CHOICE but to keep Emily away from me...?**

Ya know something...That's fine. I ain't mad at ya. You're just one more person in the world that I'm going to wake up every morning and BRUSH OFF MY SHOULDER. I've been NOTHING but a friend to you and would have NEVER tried to get your PRECIOUS little baby girl to be gay or anything of the sort. THIS is MY life. If I choose to be with a girl, then that shouldn't matter to my REAL friend because to them, as long as I'm happy, THEY'RE happy. I REFUSE to change who I am to try and re-gain a friend I lost for all the WRONG reasons to begin with. You say you don't want gay/bisexual in your life or AROUND you? HONEY, LOOK AROUND. IT'S EVERYWHERE. Let me ask you this...And I HONESTLY mean no harm by it; What are you going to say if Emily grows up and decides she'd rather be with a woman? Are you going to disown her? Kick her out? Go without talking to your own DAUGHTER because she chose a different lifestyle than you wanted for her? I honestly hate to think that you may one day be one of those parents that shuns their own child because of the choices they make. Also, as I sit here reading this, I'd like to add that I WILL NOT apologize to YOU or anyone ELSE who does not approve of me or my lifestyle, because I'm happy...For the first time in a LONG time, and I did it WITHOUT ANY OF the people who were SUPPOSED TO MATTER THE MOST. I just can't believe YOU of all people, my BEST friend of YEARS, would alienate me from your life because I'm in love with a girl. So, since that's off my chest, please know that I WILL LIVE MY LIFE AS I SEE FIT. AND IF I DIE, AND THERE IS A HEAVEN OR HELL, I HOPE I GOT TO HELL BECAUSE AT LEAST THE HONEST PEOPLE WILL BE THERE. HEAVEN'S GOING TO BE FULL OF HYPOCRITES AND KISS-ASS DO-GOODERS. I'd love to hear how she's doing from time to time, since I'll OBVIOUSLY never meet my "supposed to be" God-Daughter, maybe see pictures of birthdays and stuff. Please know that I'm happy for you, and would've wished nothing else for you but happiness. Enjoy life darlin. I'm certainly enjoying mine. Lindsey

Ok, I just added u into my thingie on here... Youre the first... Aintcha proud?! I do miss you and I know you are probably thinking yeah right but I, and Ive already explained myself b4, but we arent the same people anymore... we both have grown up so much and apart to say the least, I dont agree with the gay and bisexual people and that IS hard to say to you cause I know you are bisexual and I just dont want that kinda stuff around me or in my life whatsoever... Im trying to get right with God and now that ive been able to bring a baby into this world it is my job to make sure I teach her the rights and wrongs of the world and to be homosexuality is just as wrong as abortions... Im sorry but if I aint true to you then im not true to myself... Im not the same Melinda I used to be either, I used to not say how I really felt about stuff but now ive learned thats the only way to get by in life, I DO still care about you and I miss your mama terribly... But Im sure by now your mama has no intention on talking to me because of the way me and you have drifted apart... I truly am sorry but thats life I guess.... Hope all is well with you and yours.... *This e-mail was sent to me by my ex best friend Melinda. Understand please that from the day we met in seventh grade, we were INSEPERABLE. And now, this...I'm heartbroken because that girl was my best friend EVER, and now, because I like women and have a girlfriend, I'm everything she's against...Imagine that shit.* OK. FOR ANYYYYYYOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE OUT THERE THAT HAS A PROBLEM WITH THE FACT THAT I'M BISEXUAL, HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, OR LIKE TO EAT PUSSY, PLEASE DELETE ME. FUCK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

Let's see here...Just a reminder to you stupid fucks out there: I WILL NOT JUSTIFY MYSELF OR MY ACTIONS TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. READ MY FUCKING PROFILE YOU CUNTS. I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: I AM FAT, OPINIONATED, LOUD, CUSS LIKE A SAILOR, DRINK OCCASIONALLY, SMOKE CIGARETTES, RECOVERED DRUG ADDICT, DANCE LIKE A STRIPPER EVEN THOUGH I'M FAT, WEAR WHAT I WANT, SAY WHAT I WANT, DO WHAT AND WHO I WANT, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, I HAVE A FIANCE', I DRIVE LIKE I STOLE IT, I FLIP PEOPLE OFF ON A REGULAR BASIS, I LOVE MY MOM, I HATE STUPID WHORES, I HATE SKINNY WOMEN WHO THINK THEIR GOD'S GIFT TO MEN CUZ LET ME TELL YOU HONEY, EVER MAN WANTS TO FUCK A FAT GIRL AT LEAST ONCE SO IF YOU WANT HIM TO KEEP GNAWING ON PELVIC BONE, KEEP HIS FUCKIN ASS ON A LEASH OR HE MIGHT JUST BE ENJOYING JELLY ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT, MMK? MY LIFE IS MINE...M-I-N-E. NO ONE ELSE'S AND UNTIL I SELL IT TO THE DEVIL, OR SOMEONE TAKES IT FROM ME, I'LL DO WITH IT AS I SEE FIT. IF I WANNA TATTOO, PIERCE, CUT, SCRAPE, BITE, OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER, I.....WILL.....DO.....SO. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO RETALIATE ON THIS LITTLE "BLOW UP" OF MINE, SAVE YOUR FUCKIN' BREATH BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR PATHETIC PISSING AND MOANING, OR YOUR POOR PITY-ME BULLSHIT. THE SAME ATTITUDE THAT I PROJECTED IN THIS PARAGRAPH, THAT PROBABLY JUST PISSED YOU OFF, IS THE SAME FUCKING ATTITUDE THAT SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE LOVE ME FOR BECAUSE I SAY WHAT I WANT NO MATTER WHOSE FEELINGS I HURT. BOO FUCKING HOO. :This has been another public service announcement by: THE ONE AND O-N-L-Y DAZZYLYNN MOTHERFUCKERS! WUT!

Ok, so if you read my blog about havin charges pressed on me yesterday, then check this shit out: Last night, Me, Rebah, and Scott decided to ride out to Hot Shots. (NOTE: I know EVERYONE that goes to this bar) When we got out of the car and started walking towards the front of the building, guess who I see pull in the parking lot and ride by us...NONE OTHER THAN THE SAME BITCH WHO PRESSED THE CHARGES...Now...Being that this is a totally different city, AND county, the odds are in my favor. (Keep in mind I know all these people...) I walked inside, took off my jewelry, handed my purse to my baby girl, took my shoes off, and WAITED...Shawn and Scott had to go back to the car for something, well when they came back in, they said that ELIZABETH had gotten out of the truck, walked to the door, and just stood there staring at it for like 2 minutes. She then turned around, got back in the truck, and LEFT...WTF IS THAT? This bitch is supposed to be a BIG BADASS, A BOUT'IT MOTHAFUCKER, BUT YET: SHE KNEW I WAS IN THE BAR AND WOULDN'T EVEN COME IN? HMMM.... ELIZABETH IF YOU READ THIS, I'M CALLIN' YOUR ASS OUT. NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME, FEEL FREE TO JUMP STUPID WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. I'LL BEAT THE BRAKES OFF YOUR STUPID ASS. ::This has been another public service announcement by DazzyLynn::