It stormed here last week, and I'm still digging out my yard. For a few days, though, I was simply stuck. I could don my snowboots and many layers of clothing to make it to the mailbox, but that was about it.
Then tragedy struck.
I was out of envelopes.
What was I to do? How could I communicate with the outside world? A message tucked into a wine bottle doesn't travel very far when you toss it into 3-foot waves of snow.
Then, Genius struck. (This may have also been the effect of too much cold on my brain.) I found an old mis-addressed envelope, and I carefully un-did the glued edges, placed it on my cutting board, and traced around it with a nifty razor knife thingy. I carefully folded in the flaps, worked a little magic with a glue stick, and voila! An envelope!
After I made a couple, I realized that plain white paper just wasn't that interesting. I took an old atlas and started tearing out pages, turning them into little envelopes. Then I had the brilliant idea of using large nudie photos. Something tells me I might get better mail service if my carrier is regularly regaled with sugartits.
But: A question. Will the post office deliver mail that has nudity on it? Will they even deliver my non-nudie map envelopes? Is writing (other than the addresses) allowed on regular mail? Do any of you happen to be disgruntled postal workers who might know the answers to my all-important questions?