Dr.Romello : Topic - SEX GUIDE (do's and dont's)
Category: Romance and Relationships
TOPIC: SEX GUIDE (do's and don'ts).....
Let me start off by saying:
If you don't like my columns, don't read the shyt.!
No one is forcing you to..!
Ok. alot of people have been asking me,
"How the hell to I come up with this stuff..?" haha
Usually, I'll just come up with a topic,
or someone will send me a question or a topic to write about..
So, I do.. Once I start writing, my brain just gets overflowed
with comments, stories I've heard, info, music lyrics..etc..etc
Add the fact that I'm a crazy mofo... and BAMMMMMM...
That's how these topics/columns/blogs come about. HOLLA... haha
OKKkkkk... Each topic is told from my (Dr.Romello's) point of view...
Might not be the way you'd do things,
but your not writing the damn column,
so shut it up.. hahahahaha
SEX Guide..
OK. we all know the ultimate goal in sex, is to have that ORGASM..!
I'm talking about an orgasm so good that it will almost make the veil in your head pop,
or have you still laying in the bed unable to move for like 10 minutes afterwards..
HOLLA...
wait ... had to adjust myself --- I'm visualizing it now. hahaha
GUYS:
Rule 1 - ALWAYS, and I'll say ALWAYS make sure the female busts a nut 1st...!
let me say that again, ALWAYS, and I'll say ALWAYS make sure the female busts a nut 1st...!
if you don't, and the sex is bad, trust me, she will talk shyt on you to all her girls, haha
Even if the sex wasn't good to her or you,
or if you have a lil d*ck, or if her kitty smells like last weeks rotten fish .. hahaha
or whateva else can go wrong, she will forget about it all, IF you make her cum.! haha
STEP 1 - OKkkk.. so your kissing and feeling up the chic (betta be a female..! haha)
STOP.. in your mind, your thinking...
"OK, should I eat the kitty (meeeeeeow), or just straight hit it...?"
Well, did she pass the "DIP/SNIFF test"..?? hahaha
If she passes, strip her down,and have a snack,
just don't lick it, eat it like you've been poisoned and her kitty has the antidote in it..
hahahaahaa.....HOLLA
STEP 2 - so your naked (hopefully you have good wood,
if not you betta get in the game or you might have to be replaced..haha),
and she's naked...... make sure SHE IS WET.!
If she's not, see STEP 1... haha
So, your havin sex and hopefully she can feel you, if not, you suffer from LIL D*CK DIEASE.. hahaa,
BUT, don't get mad, just stir it like coffee.. (meaning hitting all her spots and kitty walls) meeeow,
back to havin sex (smile)..say you start out missionary, then doggy,
then feet to shouders (my fav) position, and your doin it, doin it, doin it well.. (LL lyrics..haha)
BUT, your thinkin to yourself.. "How do you know that she is liking it.????"
pay attention to her breathing, body movements, moaning.etc..etc
(If you don't know this already, you need to go back to SEX 101.. hahaha)...
and ALSO, don't stay in one position the WHOLE time, (unless you just want a quickie).. *evil grin*
shyt, the world wasn't built in a day,
so switch positions.. flip her ass over, one leg up, feet to shoulders, smack that asss
( I'm getting carried away.. hahaa),
even, let her get ontop, she can take control, and hit the spots she wants..
BUTTTTTTTT, if she is a big girl, fellas know what you can handle,
because if she gets ontop, and you can't breath, you don't have no insurance for that.. hahhaaha
STEP 3 - the orgasm....
hopefully you haven't busted yet, your both sweating, talkin dirty, ayyee papi..haha
when she says those 4 favorite words "I'm bout to cum",
YO, whateva your doing at the time, don't stop, keep on doing it...!
and when she cums, (quick slip your thumb in her ass.. hahahahaa I'm buggin)
NOW since she came, it's your turn.. your free to do anything you want..
Your on candid camera.. hahhahaa :-)
FEMALES:
Rule 1 - DON'T just lay there..! no one wants to f*ck a bump on a log,
a rock in pond, a corpse..! Move around you MO FO..! hahahahaa
Rule 2 - Shave that forrest..!
shyt, us fellas don't want to get lost in the bushes, get kidnapped in the long grass.. haha
shave it..!!
if you have a problem with that, call me (Dr.Romello),
and I will send you a FREE pair of weed whacker.. hahaha
STEP 1 - OKkkk.. so your kissing and feeling up the guy (if it's not a guy.. can I watch..? hahaa!)
STOP.. in your mind, your thinking...
"OK, should I give him a bj, or just let him hit it....?"
WAIT... Since you females complain about messin wit a short d*ck dude,
save yourself the trouble, and FIRST do the GRAB/HOLD test", before you get neekidd
(If it takes only one hand to grab the whole thing, then stand up, walk away, he's not what you need.. haha
BUT, if it takes more then one hand to grab the whole thing, then SMILE, it's ON...! :-)
STEP 2 - so your naked, and he's naked..
so you start out missionary, doggy, feet to shouders (my fav) position, and your working it,
and he's working it, let him know if you like something,
that way we won't have to read your damn minds...! tells us...
(quien es tu papi.?) who's your daddy.. haha
and don't just keep your eyes closed.. sup with that..??
and tell us if you want a kiss, or a smack on the ass... HOLLA.. haha
shyt when a guy is havin sex, and it's good, you can say just about ANYTHING to him, and he'll listen..
how do you like some chics get their bills paid.. hahhaa
and ALSO, don't stay in one position the WHOLE time,
(unless you don't want to do any work, what fun is that.?)..
shyt, the world wasn't built in a day, so switch positions..
flip him over and get ontop, put ur hands up
against the wall, and let him hit it standing up.. HOLLA.. :-)
STEP 3 - the orgasm....
hopefully you've (female) came at least once (if not, he's soo not geelin.. haha),
your both sweating, talkin dirty, ..
and he starts to make those crazy ass faces (fellas we do make some crazy faces...hahha),
and then, one big yell.. ahhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..
then we say, "Don't touch me, and fall asleep". hahahahhaahahaa I'm buggin...
ok ...AFTER sex guide (guys & females) -
guys run and get a WARM wet rag or towel so the female can wipe herself off,
you don't want no nut stains on your bed.....haha
ALSO, if the bed sheets are wet, change em,
you don't want to be tossing and turning wondering what that smell
is that's keeping you awake all nite. haha
I say.. rinse your ass off in the shower afterwards (yes, that means use SOAP.. haha)..
fellas, this is a MUST...
the proper way to leave is (if your not staying for the nite and the sex was GOOD)
give her/him a hug, kiss, slap on the ass or whateva, be nice, so you can do it again... :-)
If it was bad, just get your shyt and break out.. hahhaa
ok. that's my column for this week, hope you enjoyed the laughs and info..
stay turn for next week's column..
EVERYONE have a good T-giving.. :-)
Catch you on the flip side.. peace... Dr.Romello
I'm certified biaaaaaatches... hahaha
