LordTool's blog: "Death in a motel"

Beauty is in the ashes and so lies my heart. Pick a pocket full of daisys and watch this fall apart. Because I've repeated this scenario over in my mind. It's how I want, how I'd love things to be. But you're unaware and I've been sleeping way too much. Drowning out the sound of all the calls that aren't really coming in. I lay in bed and stare. The screen is filled with liars, whores, and far away lovers. It seems for amusement, everyone joins in. While I wait in a sanctuary of fallen heroes and subdated widows. I sit alone and ponder. Will I ever make it out of here? Or will my heart be sick forever? Love is a plague and now we're contaminated. One tear can hold a thousand regrets. You can go your own way. I'll get medicated and get over it. Isn't that how everythings fixed these days? While patience is still waiting, I think I'll go back to pretending that you still care. Pop the top, the bottle is open. Have yourself another beer. We all need to escape sometimes, but I wish I could escape with you. But that's no longer here nor there. I'm singing a different tune. As vague and twisted as this all seems, so is the life we lead!

When all my fears come screaming at me, and the air is too thick to breathe, torn apart from a past I can't escape. but yet I dream of so much more. left alone to be forgotten, yet I still find the time to smile. This distance never felt so cold. I think i'll hang on this thought for awhile. Sleepless nights make these sunny days tired. Too late to turn the hands of time, when life has expired. So before the bridges are burned, I'll make amends, then walk away. I finally figured out the lesson I should have learned. I'm forever delicategray.

What's left to give, when everything has been taken? How many times will this heart be shaken?...From the very thing that's bruised it again and again. Push rewind......then stop...delete where this all began. I can be anything, even just a friend. Some choices are never easy when feelings are still at hand. The times I felt so in love, were the times I felt so alive. And I can't shake these dreams. It's a picture perfect world, cuz in them you're here with me. Careful not to speak too loudly. But loud enough not to be so quiet. Grasping the words that fall from your lips. If they cause any more emotions, it's gonna start a riot. Hold back and this heart will go left undiscovered. Hopes will turn cold and the future will remain covered. Left to be alone, lost in a distant memory. They say all is fare in love and war....or is it just a conspiracy?

So I sip the drink in my view Think about nothing in deep thought blue Try to reason my hate to love And fail with a itching bug No excuse no pity all pain No trust no love no gain In a morbid smile I laugh myself And the things that i fail to help Wash away the sins for another day And pretend to go outside and play In the mud and filth I gather from this mindset What else should I expect Does me writing this have a affliction upon the reader No I'm just another breather Would I want a response in return I'd rather play with a loaded gun Do I want to pretend to be okay That is exactly the what Ill say In a realization I walk away Head down and lift it for another day Smile at work and gain money for the pain Shake hands with the Gods And never follow the mods All I can really do anyways is just be me But with that, no one will see She is only there for a minute than gone Along with her lust and song As I pick up my drink i take a sip.