Christ, I gotta keep up with this thing.
I had a blowout yesterday. it got to the point where my parent and i were nose to nose, ready to throw down. i actually ended up hollering at the top of my lungs "GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT! NOW!" it's been 24 hours, and i still can't believe it happened. i don't even recall what got us to that point. all i know is that i was standing my ground, i was hissing breath through my teeth and my fists were clenched. after my parent walked out so we could both cool down, i was slobbering and snivelling, all because it was mentioned that maybe i need a good cry. being 20, i believe there is less and less need for "a good cry". people think i'm a pussy enough, i don't need "a good cry"...i just need a good screw.
the real shocker though...after my parent walked out, i slammed my door shut. and then i was just so fucked up, i actually slammed my fist into my wall and made a respectable. up until now, i had no idea i could do that. i really didn't. it was the side of my fist...good thing i didn't use my fist full-on god knows what would have ensued.
Showtime's tomorrow night. we still don't have our act together...i'm starting to doubt whether we'll get it together...i can barely get my lines for the second act straight, no matter how much i say them out loud, in my most hick-ish voice, volume be damned.
as far as a gf is concerned, forget it.
well...a surprising development from yesterday's blowout...now i will be given $100 dollars a month to spend as i will...i'm like omfg :D this should be interesting