Grr's blog: "Grr Muses"

Anxiety manifests itself in strange ways sometimes. Have you ever noticed that we all have vastly different approaches when it comes to facing the outside world? Some like to primp and prim for hours before going out, in the hopes of attracting the stray eye here and there. I've met a few women that prefer to wear large and baggy clothing to prevent people from seeing their actual body shapes. There are those that walk out the door without a single thought to behaving or dressing any differently. I've found that my method is isolation. Before I leave the door every day, I take my time to get ready as well, but I focus instead on looking as intimidating as possible so as to be less approachable. I wear sunglasses everywhere I go, and earphones pumping at full volume into my ears. All to promote the most unapproachable vibe as possible. I like to be left to myself. When I take the earphones out or the sunglasses off and actually engage however, one might be surprised to see that I actually tend to be friendly, funny, and most often incredibly talkative. What most don't know is that this is not me at all. When I was younger, that was just me, but as the years marched on I became far more reserved and contemplative. I spend long periods of time lost in thought. I keep my own counsel and ask no-one for advice or direction. In actuality, I talk more to myself, than to anyone else. The thing is that I learned long ago not to let my real self show. If someone doesn't like me for my fake laughing and jabbering self, then it's no big loss. It's not actually me they dislike, is it? It's a messed up way of coping, I know, but we all have our own methods. What I've come to realize though, is that this method is really no better or worse than anybody else's approach. Different strokes for different folks, and all that jazz. At the end of the day it all comes down to you, and we all have to make the most for ourselves.

                 ~Grr 7/13/15