Many BDSM relationships focus on the power exchange between the
Dominant partner and the submissive partner. And what better way
to showcase this power structure than with collar and leash play?
One of the problems you might be having with this kind of play is
that it seems like something that has become clichéd and silly.
But the idea of one person possessing someone else (as indicated by
the leash and collar) is something that is certain to add a new
element to a D/s relationship. Combine with that the idea that the
symbolism shows that the Master thinks of the submissive as a 'dog'
and you've got a recipe for erotic success.
But if you go into collar and leash play with the attitude that
it's all fun and 'ha ha,' you're probably not going to get a lot
out of it. This is a form of BDSM play that really requires that
the Dominant enforce strict rules of how to and when to wear the
leash as well as what behaviors will be expected when it is worn.
The collar should also become something that becomes a reward for
being a 'good' slave or one that is finally owned by the Dominant.
In most BDSM relationships, the idea of getting 'collared' is a
focal point and a sort of destination for the slave training
itself. Only when the slave has mastered the tasks as prescribed
by the Master or Mistress can they become worthy of wearing a
collar on a permanent basis. This collar can be a permanent part
of the slave, being locked around their neck without the ability to
be taken off unless professionally broken. Or the collar can be
temporary and put on and taken off only in BDSM scenes.
Some relationships even go so far as to have a collaring ceremony
to show the linking of the Dominant and the submissive in their
promises to dominate and to serve each other. Much like the
vanilla weddings, this is a ceremony that is very special to the
relationship and can also signify a deeper level for the commitment
to each other.
For some, collar and leash play never goes beyond the bedroom. It
becomes a way to demonstrate the role of the submissive as well as
leading into doggie play in which the submissive acts like an
animal to the Dominant. The Dominant might lead the submissive
around on the leash and have them eat out of dog bowl. The
submissive might also have to follow commands as though they were
the property of the Dominant.
The collar and leash play can also become a humiliation play when
the submissive needs to wear the collar and the leash outside of
the home. Done in a public setting, it's immediately obvious that
the submissive is powerless in the relationship and that they are
being controlled by someone else. While this is usually restricted
to be done around folks that are BDSM educated, doing this around
vanilla folks can truly make a submissive feel lower in position.
The great part about collar and leash play is that they can be used
as often or as infrequent as you like, depending on your needs for
it in your D/s roles. Sometimes it can be used as a punishment;
while others view it as a privilege - how you use this kind of play
is a personal decision, but one that many others have already made.
Collaring is the mark of a slave that has been accepted by their
Master or Mistress and one that you may well consider to be the
crowning achievement of your relationship as well.
