I've been doing a lot around the house today: cleaning, laundry, etc. I've had the tv on too, HBO has been playing away in the background. I got distracted by "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee", played a little online, and got back to my chores. When I sat back down "V For Vendetta" was playing. I saw it in the theater and liked it, though I know it was lacking for some. The fact is, I like movies that require their characters to make personal choices that affect the world. Or at least a country or something. ;) I have this wierd.... obsession? No, that's pretty damn strong. Ummm... interest? Maybe. Anyway, I have this strange part of me that loves Armaggedon type situations and movies.... "Armaggedon", "Deep Impact", "War of the Worlds", "Independance Day".... They're not the best flicks ever, I admit, but they speak to me. I almost always tear up at one point or another during these films. I think it's because I hope to find the same heroism in myself that I see in the characters of the story. I often fantasize about what I would do in the face of major tragedy. If an earthquake were to happen, what would I do? (Really, not that big of a stretch living on the west coast. Something we should all think about and plan for.) If hostile aliens should show up, or a volcano decide to blow its top.... Haha, again not too much of a stretch.... I imagine myself a hero. The one with a plan and food and water. The one to lead people (and pets! ;p) to safety. Often it goes too far as I imagine myself running idiotically into a burning building to retrieve my laptop... can't be without my CT! ;p But "V" is a different story. It's the kind of story where the overwhelming force is not an alien or force of nature... but fellow man. It's more the intellectual kind of fight than a pure fight for survival. There's violence, sure, and the possiblity for death. But the true fight is the one for freedom of thought and the ability to be oneself. Much like Hitler, a government has used its power to fill its people with fear and thus convinced them to give up control of their own lives in order to stay "safe". Now, I can't imagine that I would be happy laying down my freedom to be the food of or slave for some random alien coming out of the ether and making Earth its home. So why the fuck should I do the same for some human prick who thinks he can control my life? I think of these scenarios and my fantasies falter. It is much more scary to consider the prospect of fighting my fellow man for my own right to be myself than it is to fight aliens, lava, traffic and people wanting to steal the food that I need to keep myself and my family alive. And if they were "only" taking away someone else's rights? Would I have the strength of character to stand up for those I didn't know and love - based only on the fact that they are fellow humans who deserve to have the freedom of choice that God gave them? I think so. I hope so. I hope that the hero I have inside me would (will?) stand up for all the oppressed, no matter who they may be or who their oppressor.... I will have to work on and develop these fantasies, so they become as familiar as the others. I want to know that even if it is never needed, I have a hero inside me who will save us all in our hour of need. Or at least make a damn fine show trying.