Tannim's blog: "Harry Potter and the Mental War"

September 9^th

A week later, Harry and Ginny were enjoying a Friday dinner in Harry's rooms, discussing the day's activities.  DADA classes had been going well, all years on the schedule Harry had laid out, and coming up to speed nicely.  Ginny, for her part, had gotten plenty of hands-on experience in healing first- and second-years who had run-ins with Peeves, Slytherins, and Quidditch tryouts.  After dinner they moved to the couch to cuddle, and she finally had time to remember to ask Harry something.

:I've been meaning to ask you this, love.  Poppy wants us to document what happens with our Bond.

:Why is that?

:Well, since it hasn't happened in almost a millennium, she thinks that documenting what happens with us could be a priceless and unique opportunity for medical and magical research.  I agree with her, but I told her I'd talk to you about it first before agreeing.

:Do you know what she has in mind?

:Part of it the physical aspects, although when it comes to certain areas we'll have to be a little discreet, but it's also what we're experiencing emotionally, magically, and maybe even a little psychoanalysis built in if we can muster it.

:I'm not sure I want to be followed around by St. Mungo's Healers like rats following the Pied Piper.  You know how I hate that.

:I think there's an easier way.  We simply each keep a journal of the experiences.  We take time each night to write down what happened to us with the Bond each day.  Not necessarily what we say to each other, but things like, "I was able to tell when Ginny was hungry," or "I could tell Harry bit his tongue to keep from laughing."

:What about the intimate moments?  I don't exactly want to record what happened when we went skinny-dipping in the Prefects' Bathroom!

:Silly!  We can write about how the Bond deepened, but we can leave out the spicy part!

:Well, I think we can do it, but I've never been much on this type of thing before.  I always thought diaries were a girl thing.

:You prat, they are!  But this is for science and research, not girl gossip.

:I hope so.  You win, I'll do it.

:I win, huh?  As usual, love.  As usual.

:That's true.  To the victor goes the spoils.

They were simply gazing at each other, and moving closer to a snogging, when there was a knock on the door.  Rather reluctantly they disengaged from each other and Ginny went to answer it.

"Hello, Ginny.  Am I disturbing you?" Lupin looked rather distraught.

Damn straight you are, and your timing sucks!  But she smiled.

"Of course not, Moony, come in."  He entered the room and Ginny closed the door behind him.  She headed to the kitchenette and got three Butterbeers, and coined Tonks.

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Keep it down!  Moony's here and I think he's in a bad way.  I want you to listen in," Ginny whispered.  She headed back into the room.

"Hi, Moony!  How's things?" grinned Harry.  "What brings you around here?"

"I had to pick up the Wolfsbane potion from Horace.  Full moon is tomorrow night," he replied.  "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop in.  You see, I've got a problem."

Harry motioned him to a chair as Ginny rejoined him on the couch.  Lupin sat down and accepted the Butterbeer Ginny handed him.  "Thank you."

"So what's the problem?" Ginny asked.

Lupin looked rather sheepish and glanced down before replying.  "Women."

Harry laughed.  "Well, what are you asking me for?  I just do what Ginny tells me!"

"I'm serious, Harry," Lupin retorted.  "I'm in one mess here, and I'm not sure what to do."

"Let me guess," Harry replied.  "Is it Tonks?"

Lupin blushed and nodded.  He took a drink.

Ginny looked at him.  "Moony, do you love her?"

He nodded.  "Yes, and that's my problem.  I'm afraid to tell her that."

"Why?"

"James would have called it, 'my furry little problem.'"

"What, just that?" Harry asked.  "There are ways to deal with that, and you just picked up one of them from Horace."

"Harry, it's bigger than something a potion can help with.  I love her and want to be with her, but at the same time I'm scared that I'll hurt her and put her in danger each month."  Lupin had tears in his eyes, and his voice was almost pleading.

"You know where I've heard this before, Harry?"  Ginny asked.

"Where?"

"You.  It was the same argument you gave when you broke up with me at Dumbledore's funeral. 'I don't want you to be in any more danger by being around me,' or words to that effect," Ginny recalled.

"Oh, yeah, I had forgotten I had said that nonsense.  I was as wrong as I ever could be on that," Harry remembered.  He looked at Lupin.  "Moony, because of what you are, and because you are aware of it and are concerned about it, that tells me you're on your way to dealing with it.  Do you remember what Fleur told Molly after Bill was bitten by Greyback?  Fleur told Molly that those bites and scars weren't going to stop her from loving him or marrying him, and look at them now.  I'll bet you my trust fund that Tonks feels exactly the same way, full moons be damned."

Ginny chimed in.  "Harry's right, Moony.  Tell us, how have you been dealing with the full moons lately?"

"I've been taking the potion and isolating myself at the Shrieking Shack like always," he replied.  "I've deliberately kept Tonks away from there."

"Full moon is tomorrow, right?"  Harry asked.  Ginny nodded.

"Well, we're not Padfoot and Prongs, but would you like a couple of Gryffindor lions to keep you company?" Harry asked.

"You mean it?" Lupin gasped.

"Why not?" Ginny replied.  "I can observe your condition in that form safely as part of my Healer training, and if we can better understand what you deal with on the full moon with the potion, then that'll help Tonks as well.  I think you're afraid that she won't understand it all, but we can help her to understand it this way, and that can only alleviate your fear.  If she understands and accepts it, then you're fine.  And I think she will, too.  Tonks is a great woman and she just might surprise you."

Moony looked up and smiled for the first time since he arrived.  "Let's do it, then!"

:Werewolves!  The ultimate male equivalent to PMS, I swear!

:Watch it, Potter!  When we women get bitchy with PMS, we make werewolves look like puppies!

:I'll remember that.

* * *

Tonks listened in and tears formed in her eyes.  He loves me, but he's afraid for me!  I need to be at the Shack to see this.  Ginny's right, I don't understand it completely, and I do need to know.

I'm coming, my love, whether you like it or not!

Then she had another idea.

What the Hell, nothing to lose by trying, and Snape is probably bored to tears right now.

Surprise him, indeed!  If this works, he'll be totally speechless!

She turned off the coin, disillusioned herself, and apparated to Diagon Alley.  She had some plans to make.

* * *

Fred and George were just closing up the shop after a long day when Tonks came running up.  "Fred, George, wait!"  She tripped over a potted plant and went sprawling towards the door.

They helped her up and ushered her inside.  "What's up?  Is something wrong?" George asked.  Fred locked the door and put up the CLOSED sign.

"There is, but everyone's fine.  But I need to ask you both a huge favor, and Remus must not know," she replied breathlessly.

"What is it?"  they asked.

"Can you two work with Snape and Hermione to see if you can come up with a Lycanthropy cure?"

They looked at her, puzzled.  "I can see why you'd want to keep it from Remus, but I thought there was no cure," replied Fred.

"I think there might be one in some of the old magic books that Dumbledore left Hermione at Hogwarts.  You two and Severus are the best potion-makers I know, and Hermione has a knack for finding things and isn't so bad at Potions herself.  Could you give it a try?"

Fred and George huddled for a moment, then turned and nodded.  "We'll try," George said.  Tonks handed him her coin.  "Hermione?"

Hermione's face appeared.  "Fred? George?  What is it?"

"Tonks is here with us.  Can you Floo over here to the shop for a word?"

"Be right there." Her face disappeared.  A minute later she and Ron came through the fireplace.

Tonks quickly explained what she wanted to try, and Hermione agreed to check Dumbledore's library.  Tonks then Floo'ed Grimmauld Place.  "Severus!"

Snape appeared momentarily.  "What is it, Nymphadora?"

"Can you come over here to the joke shop for a word?"

"No pranks?" he asked.

"No pranks, Severus, this is serious," she replied.

A moment later he stepped through.

Again, Tonks explained what she wanted to try.

"Any ideas?"  she asked hopefully.

"I have a few, but I think Mrs. Weasley should begin her research while I do my own.  It is possible that between the two of us we will find something.  I take it you want me to develop the potion with all four Weasleys here?" he asked with a slight sneer.

"Just those three, Snape," replied Ron.  "You know I'm not that good with potions."

Snape smiled.  "I admit that I was getting bored being in hiding in Order Headquarters with nothing to do but put up with Black.  This will be a good challenge.  I accept.  Let's get started, shall we?  Mrs. Weasley, you get cracking at Hogwarts.  I will risk a trip to my home to check my own library.  Does Lupin have enough Wolfsbane Potion for tomorrow night?"

Tonks replied, "He does, from Slughorn."

* * *

September 10^th

The next night found Harry, Ginny, and Lupin in the Room of Requirement.

"Moon rises in ten minutes.  Take the last of the potion."  Remus downed it in one gulp.

"The peppermint sprig helps the flavor immensely."

"Thank Lily, it was her twist on potions, remember?"  Harry grinned.

"Ready?"  Ginny nodded.

The two of them changed into their lion and lioness forms.

They opened the door and headed down the hallway.  They had gone down several floors and were getting close to the Great Hall when they heard a noise.

:Peeves!  Damn it, why is he here?

:I suggest we scare the bejeebers out of him!

:Big roar in tandem?

:That'll work.

Harry motioned Lupin to hang back.  They came around a corner and saw him, upside down, back to them, stuffing gum into the keyhole of the Arithmancy classroom.

:One, two three!

They both let out a deafening roar.  Peeves spun around, saw the lions, and flew away at top speed, screaming, "LIONS! LIONS LOOSE IN THE CORRIDORS!"

Quickly the three made their way outside and towards the Whomping Willow.  Harry waved a paw and it stopped moving, and they ducked into the passage.  They made their way into the Shrieking Shack.  Moonlight shone in the window.

Lupin transformed, nails and nose growing longer, fur growing, height getting taller, body more muscular.

He turned and saw the lions, then he smiled a wolfish smile, with bared teeth, then promptly laid down on the floor.

Tonks watched, disillusioned, in a corner.

:I want to try something.  Stand by.

Ginny changed from lioness into Saluki, and walked up to Lupin, sniffed him.  Lupin raised his head, sniffed back, but did not attack.  Ginny sat next to him, nose to nose.  Legillimens!

Ginny was inside Lupin's mind now, and she recognized the canine mentality, and reached out to it with her own.  Fascinated, she examined it from all sides, saw the moonlight shining on it, making it active and alive, taking over.  She also saw the effects of the Wolfsbane potion dimming the light but not extinguishing it, controlling the canine mind, and keeping Lupin calm.  She saw the human mentality around him, struggling and failing to regain full control, but having some success with the potion assisting.  Ginny understood.  The nature of the Lycanthropy caused a change in the mind when exposed to moonlight, only at full moon, when the moonlight was at maximum, and it was that strength that made the canine mind take over, but dimming the moonlight caused it to have less effect.  But how was the moonlight reacting with the human mind to cause the change?  She'd have to talk to some Healers on that.  That also meant that the waxing and waning, but not full moon, had no effect because it wasn't strong enough.

She withdrew her mind but stayed there with him on the floor.  Harry had seen it all through the link.

:You realize that nobody has ever done Legillimency on a werewolf at full moon before?

:This definitely goes in the journals.  I need to talk to Snape about this as well.  I think he can shed some light on the Wolfsbane ingredients and how they work on this.

They stayed there all night, keeping watch, waiting, ready to contain Lupin if necessary, but Lupin seemed to be in control enough to simply go to sleep.  Harry and Ginny dozed periodically but not together; one always kept watch.  At one point Harry noticed her disillusionment reflect some moonlight, and he sent a slight mental probe into her corner.  Tonks, he thought.  All the more reason to be on guard.

Tonks never slept at all.  She stayed in the corner, watching, lost in her own thoughts.

This isn't as bad as I feared.  He seems to be in control with the potion, and Harry and Ginny in animal forms seem to help even more.

I can work with this.  Hell, it's like PMS, but with a worse temper!

Nah, it just seems like it to me.  He'd say otherwise!

Morning came and the moon set.  It was over.  Moony, still asleep, slowly changed back into human form. Harry watched, then stood up, shook himself, came over, then nudged Ginny with his nose.  Her eyes opened immediately and looked around, but she did not move.  Then she stood up in a play bow, stretching, shook herself, wagged her tail, then changed back into human form.  Harry changed back into human form, and they helped Lupin to his feet, then set off for the castle.

Tonks quietly left by the front door and headed to the Hog's Head.  She needed a stiff drink, and Aberforth had what she needed.

* * *

The three arrived back at the castle.  Ginny took Lupin to the Hospital Wing to get checked over, while Harry headed to McGonagall's office.  Moments later he opened the door to find McGonagall and Hermione at a table, a stack of books next to her.  McGonagall looked up.

"Harry, is everything all right?  Peeves was heard screaming that there were lions on the loose last night, and you and Ginny were not found."  She looked at him sharply.

Harry had expected this.  He replied, "Headmistress, Ginny and I were in our lion forms last night in the hallways and we did scare Peeves.  We were escorting Remus to the Shrieking Shack for his transformation.  We stayed there with him all night.  Ginny is with him in the Hospital Wing right now.  Headmistress, something amazing happened last night, something that may have never been done before.  Ginny did Legillimency on Remus while he was transformed."

Harry recounted what they had learned, as the women listened on in fascination.

"Harry, do you know what I'm doing here?  This isn't homework," Hermione said.  "Tonks asked me, Fred, George, and Snape to find a cure for Lycanthropy.  What you just told us is a great help.  Ginny saw how the potion interacts with his mind, which tells us a lot we had never known before.  She needs to tell Snape this immediately."

"Ginny wanted to tell him as well, but neither of us knew what was going on.  At least now I know why Tonks was there last night," Harry replied.  "Moony had kept her away, but she wanted to see for herself."

"One more thing, Harry.  Tonks asked to keep this a secret.  She wants to surprise him if we get something."  Harry nodded.  He headed to the Hospital Wing, and on the way down the stairs he grabbed some bacon off the tray of food Ron was bringing up.

In the Hospital Wing he saw Lupin resting on a bed, and Ginny at a desk, writing furiously in her journal.  He walked up and noticed the quill was writing on its own, with a thick gray line extending from Ginny's head to the quill.  She noticed him and stopped.

"Never seen writing done like that before," he said.  "Is that transferring a memory directly to paper?"

"Exactly.  It sure beats having a middleman.  Dumbledore showed me how to do it in second year.  It helped me to cope with the aftereffects of the Chamber," she said with a shudder.

"Hermione was in McGonagall's office.  She wants you to tell Severus what you saw in Moony's mind."

"I was going to anyway, because I think if he knows how the potion works in the mind, he can enhance it for better effect," Ginny replied.

"Well, we'll have to do it soon.  Right now, though, I'm bushed.  I'm heading to bed.  See you there soon?"

Ginny reached up and pulled him down to her, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "Soon, love.  I need to finish this first."

Harry headed to his rooms, flopped on the bed, and fell asleep.  He didn't hear Ginny arrive ten minutes later, nor felt her curl up next to him.