Oh, Lord. Why oh why was I so stupid? Once again I have screwed up and lost something dear to me in my life. I know now I try to hard! But at least I'm trying, right? I dont know anymore. I can already feel it, my heart, hardening. Preparing to not allow any hope, feeling, emotion, care, in nor out, and I'm scared! My attitude has changed and I dont think for the best. Is the devil consuming me? It burns to know and to feel these feelings in which are not my own. I look to the sky for the light, and yet find only darkness. Is this a test? A trial? A challenge? I have faced many in my lifetime and made it this far. But I don't know if one such as this will consume me, or let me consume it! I know not, and so I pray, for forgiveness, and guidence!!!
