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we lay awake livin praying and thinking. we lay awake hoping for love from many. few of us knows whats wanted from heart but many knows whats just wanted from the start. life isnt carma of so why are so many, wishing and praying for that one to be with. if life was fair we would all be friendly if life was fair we wouldnt want much. life is unfair so we sit and we cry. wishing and praying for someone to wipe that tear from your eye. few of us find that one who we should be with and of that few only few stay with. we get so scared from hurt pain and lies. we get so hurt we just want to run and hide. we feel deep in our heart deep deep inside that someone may be there but never do we confide in those ones who truely are there. we think and we thought we have the best things. we wish the ones were with are the ones in the end. we use and get used and dont even care, those who matter isnt always going to be there. life is unfair it scares us to death. those who matter usually have there heart ripped from there chest. there hurt by those, theyfeel they can trust and they are hurt by those who never cared to touch. they get abused and treated of trash. they get hurt but still they stay awake. then the day comes when you finallyarent scared, to take that step but by that time its usually too late. life isnt guranteed trust me i know. life isnt great its only what you make of it.you can try to be happy and try t make things right. you can try to make whats fair the best in the world but the truth behind this is its never to work. people come and they go and they stay happy today. people come and they go and die the next day. life is short for few and long for many. life takes away whats really meant to be. if you use and abuse whats truely there and act as if nothing wll care then what you say and you do may be the last they ever knew. speaking from someone of pure loss and despaire, life can hurt you if you dont take the chance thats given to you. life is s hard and so hurtful inside. life is so evil and makes you dispise. so many take lives due to the fact they get scared. some people take there live cuz they cant seem to bare. so much hurts and runs from inside as we areselfs just want someone right. my feelings are strong as my mind is to but for some my walls drop within moments. i cant say who this person is inside but know that i think i found that person who makes things right. the best things in life are worth waiting for deeply but the prolblem with this is life doesnt want for no one. you can care and you can care and run fast to the front but if life makes it harder for the rest you come back to the end. no matter what you feel it must be both ways. no matter wha you know it must be enclosed. some feelings can scare people from day to day but those who care will never run away. i must leave this thought by saying farewell. but i will leave with a question that some may help with. if life is solong for some many, and so short for others why does true love seem to be hidden.if its so hidden why cant we have longer, to find the ones we care for and make them see the light? well i have to get going my throughts have grown thin, have to get going so i can let you in. this may be the first set of thoughts but i doubt its the last.i just hope when i return it better then this. take care an farewell i dont know what to do take care and farewell ill see you all soon.....

soar

yes im seriously soar, yes i hurt, no not really emotionally well i am but not what im talking about. kinda got jumped and beat with a bat. yes ill live yes ill mangage. just gettting all the questions out the way. i hope i havnt missed any. thanks for reading. bu bye

 

broke

broken hearts cant truely be mended. when you care for someone it always takes more then one person caring to make things right. to make things work. distance is the worst factor. it makes you cry it makes it hard and it makes everything not really worth the while. but true love does conquer all as long as it goes both ways. it cant just go one way. i found out the hard way. nothing is worth saving unless you feel it the best way. being broken hearted is the worst thing ever. i guess only one quote says it best. make sure the juice is worth the squize. if it is dont loose a drop and keep it all. things are difficult and people get hurt if they care. but hey what do i know im just a guy with a broken heart that has never mended. dont take my word for it. try it your own way. hopefully your ending will be a happy one unlike mine.

a soldiers carole

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
THEY LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT,"

broken

when you heart is broken and mind is blank. you search deep inside yourself to find answeres. the answeres you wish you knew. the ones that make everything seem right and fix all problems. you look inside yourself deeper. not only for the answeres but to find out who you are as well. you wonder for years and years and think you know but never realy can grasp it. its like its there but not there. you want it so bad but cant seem to have it. i know you know the feeling. feels like pieces of you are gone or found. feels like your life is comming to a end. all around you turn away or never can understand. all that you want to understand is never there to care. all you want is someone to be there to help you through. for support to find what you want so dearly. what will make sense of everthing. what fixes the life you have or what will atleast lead you in the path to create the path you never felt you would follow. but still in the end you feel broken until it seems right. until it seems to be fixed. my question to all is... is it ever really fixed? i feel its always going to be broken and unanswered. i feel noone ever truely knows the answeres. not you, not me, not anyone... happiness is hard to come by. i found it once and it seems to go away every time i try......... good luck with your answeres....
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