I slept in my car that night, till about 4 am. Then I went to Ricks to see if I could stay with him. He let me in and allowed me to stay at his house. We had been intimate several times by then so sex with him wasn't a new issue. Tonight however would be different. He wanted to have anal sex with me. I had tried it before with another guy and it hurt so I was very hesitant. He promised that if it hurt he would stop and never ask me to do it again. He was very slow and gentle so it did not hurt at all. This wasn't an invitation that was supposed to last more than one night so the next night I slept in my car in a laundramat parking lot. It got so cold I again went down the street to Ricks house. He again allowed me to come in. I moved in that next day.
I guess that I was cramping his style after a while because while I was at my mothers doing his and my laundry, he had another set of girls over. When I got home from doing 8 loads of laundry he informed me that he had slept with another female. I should have packed my bags right then and there and went home, but I didn't. I stayed and cried all night that night and the next day. It didn't seem to matter to him that I was hurting so bad, but I let him walk all over me anyway. After about 6 months of dating we decided to get married. First he had to get a new job. He had a habit of getting too mouthy with his bosses and either getting fired or quitting without having another job. He moved to Texarkana Texas with a buddy and his wife. His buddy had a job waiting there for him when he got there. Meanwhile I stayed in his house. I was to wait till he could afford to come and get me. We got into arguement after arguement while he was away. I was told by his buddy that he was having an affair while there. I decided that what was good for the goose was good for the gandor. I shortly thereafter cancelled our engagement and had a one night stand with the brother of his buddy. At the time I justified my actions because of what he did, but no matter what it wasn't right. His buddy's brother was married to a really nice lady that I considered my friend and I had just betrayed her. I felt like dirt.
I thought about it for about a month. Rick and I were still talking and I still lived in his house. He came to Indiana to get me. I stayed there in Texas for about 3 months before I once again called a stop to the wedding. I got tired of his flirting with other women and I had an unnatural beef against pornography. I found several playboys in his belongings that he had hidden from me and I was done. Before I could get a ride back to Indiana I had an affair with his buddy. He too, was married. Again I felt like shit. I didn't feel like I was cheating because Rick and I were done in my eyes, but his buddy and his wife were 100% married and I violated that. These people let me and Rick stay in their house and I betrayed her.
Rick and I again talked about things and he talked me into going ahead with the marriage plans.
He came back to Indiana in June to have a quick wedding. Four hours before the "I do's" we were fighting again. I knew then that I didn't really love this man, let alone marry him. I married him anyway thinking that after my mother had went through so much to help me get ready for this wedding, she didn't deserve for me to call it all off. We got married June 13 th of '87. We left for Texas within a week after the wedding. He had a place rented for us to stay so I didn't have to face what I did. The couple that we lived with continued their marriage without grief because I nor he ever told Rick or his wife about the betrayal. We moved from Texarkana Texas to the Arkansas side of Texarkana. I worked for a steak place at first, but it didn't last long. I then found a job at a gas station/convenience store. I was comfortable in this job because I had been around these types of stores since I was 12. Mom and dad both worked for these kind of stores and I was always around helping out.
Rick got to where he was very abusive. He would get so mad that he would throw me around the house. He also stopped being gentle with anal sex. He started taking it whenever he wanted it. It didn't matter to him that he hurt me. He threw me so hard one day that I landed on the corner of the night stand and ended up with a knot 3"x2"x1". I left him shortly after this. I didn't go home because I knew he would find me. I went to my old bosses apartment to hide. I was scared that if he found me he would hurt me again.
This boss understood what kind of man Rick was not only because of what I told him about Rick but because of what he saw for himself. He knew that the reason I got thrown into that night stand was because I had a lie detector test set up at McDonalds that day to be able to be a manager. Rick kept argueing with me, refusing to let me go. He accused me of having an affair with all the males at my job. He kept it up till I had missed the appointment. McDonalds wouldn't let me reschedule the lie detector test because it had already cost them $75.oo even though I hadn't shown up. I got really pissed at Rick for his bullshit, and I yelled at him. This is what caused him to throw me. My old boss was on the phone with me when I had to cancel and again when I tried to reschedule. He had heard Rick going ape shit on me.
Rick showed up at my bosses place looking for me. I was so scared that I hid in my bosses closet in fetal position. I stayed at my bosses place for a week. After my boss talked Rick into leaving things calmed down for me. I was able to be myself for the most part. Ron (my boss) was really sweet to me. He didn't try anything with me at first. He got up and went to work without even waking me up. On Saturday all but one of his employees didn't show up for work. I then had the opportunity to work again. I went in and found myself really enjoying myself. I right then was made crew leader. This was a big step for me. When the others meandered in, I was the one to assign where everyone was to go. It felt so good to be working and not being called names for succeeding. I wasn't a whore or a slut this day. I was important! We found out later that day the reason 2 of his employees didn't show up was because they were almost shot. They were walking by a picture window when someone attempted a drive by shooting. Luckily they missed! The only thing that was hit was the picture window. Later that same day I saw the most unusual car I had ever seen. It looked like a small airplane. It was a 2 seater but one seat was behind the other seat. The top opened just like a jet you see on tv. It had one front wheel and 2 back wheels. We were told it was a prototype. There were only a few of them made. It could run 75 miles on one tank of gas. I had a blast this day.
When Ron and I went back to his place things started happening between us. I didn't think, again, that I was cheating since I had been so abused and felt that Rick and I were finished. At first I didn't tell mom where I was that way when Rick asked, she didn't have to lie to him. Mom hated lying and I didn't want to make her do it. She would tell me about all of Ricks phone calls. She'd say,"Rick called again. He told me to tell you that if you would give him another chance he would never touch you in a bad way ever again. He even promised to not get onto you about not doing the dishes or any of the housework. He said he would do it all if you would just come home." She said she told him," I told him not to make promises that he could not keep. He swore to me that you meant the world to him and he just knew he could keep all of his promises if you would just come home and give him another chance."
then went back to Indiana again. Rick quit his job as a manager of Wendy's to chase me. He had been talking to my mom making all kinds of promises to do right by me. I fell for his lies and went back to him. His true colors didn't take long to resurface. He was without a job and living off of my job and his dads help. I didn't want to use his dad like this because his dad was on a fixed income but Rick said his dad owed him for not being there when he was a kid. His dad was an alcoholic when he was a kid and young adult, but had straightened up his life. Rick never forgave his father for the past, but Rick himself was an alcoholic. He not only drank but he smoked pot also. I had stopped smoking pot till I hooked up with Rick. It was something that when alone, I wasn't into.
MORE TO COME AS I GET IT WRITTEN......should I continue?
