Vera's blog: "Funny Stuff"

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess.

The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb"!!

After a big fight with his blonde wife, a man walks into his bedroom to find her sitting on the bed holding a gun to her own head.

At the sight of this, the man begins laughing.

"What are you laughing about?" she says, "You're next!"

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket.

The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving."

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her.

He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.

Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving."

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do.

The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."

He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.

He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."

The blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Because your breast is exposed."

"Oh. my God", says the blond. "I left the baby on the bus!"