Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
Q: Why did God give women foreheads?
A: So you have somewhere to kiss them after they give you a blowjob.
Q: Why shouldn't you screw your wife first thing in the morning?
A: You've got all day to find something better.
Q: What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A: A slut will fuck anybody, a bitch will fuck anybody but you.
Q: What's the best way to keep a hard-on?
A: Don't fuck with it.
Q: Why was the homo fired from his position at the sperm bank?
A: He was drinking on the job.
Q: Why did God make pussy smell like fish?
A: Because he made sperm look loke tartar sauce.
Q: What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that's long & hard?
A: A new last name.
A truck driver picked up one of those long-haired androgynous types that are so in vogue these days. After about an hour of silence, the hitchhiker said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?"
"Ask you what?" the truck driver replied.
"Whether I'm a boy or girl?"
"It don't make any difference," answered the trucker. "I'm fucking you anyway."
A man and a woman were stranded on a life raft after their boat sank. One morning the woman awoke to find the man holding a knife under his limp prick. "What are you doing?" she gasped.
I can't help it," the man said, "I've just got to have something to eat!"
"Wait," the woman pleaded. "Let me play with it for a while, then there will be enough for both of us!"
