eLuSiVeKiM's blog: "ok folks..."

The inferiority complex. Colorism. He wants a trophy wife. Issues with his momma. Acting ‘”white.” Ego builder. False sense of self-worth. Rejection of his heritage. Acceptance from white society. “Doormat mentality” of women.

Every time a brother walks hand-in-hand with a white woman we have some type of psychological diagnosis for him. At least one sister puts her nose up in disgust and another cuts her eyes. On the surface, the anger comes from him looking like a sell-out or choosing her as a trophy piece. “If these were slavery times, she wouldn’t dare been seen with him,” I’ve heard friends say.

Jill Scott received attention from her commentary about black men with white women in her Essence piece a few months ago. “We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a black man even looked at a white woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death,” she said. “In the midst of this, black women and black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed.”

As insightful madames, we have two choices: we can dig into the issue as deeply as Scott did, or resolve just a few basic questions. One, is it that we feel black men are choosing to be with white women — or purposely rejecting black women? And if they’re rejecting us, does it mean we have less worth to them or maybe we did something wrong? Or are we simply jealous?

There has been discussion, debate and drama over this issue for years. Different social theories have placed all black men who date white women in a box, but in the end, it’s all ridiculous.

As we all know: dating, love and marriage sometimes go beyond the realm of science to a faraway place called personal preference. And as much as some would like to deem every black man in an interracial relationship as having an “issue,” it’s really his prerogative.

At the end of the day, it comes down to wanting someone with a strong sense of self– even if she just happens to be white.