T’was the night after payday,
When all throught the house
The creatures were stirring, looking for mouse
The pasties were hung from the titties with care,
In hopes that big tippers soon would be there.
The patrons were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While visions of g-strings danced in their heads;
Me in my leather, happy and cheer
Had just settled down for a ten dollar beer,
When out on the stage there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the stage I flew like a flash,
Ripped open my wallet and pulled out some cash.
The spotlight above illuminates below
Show silicone objects for us to behold,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature limo, and eight shapely round rears,
With a flashy old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Pimp Nick.
More rapid than eagles his dancers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DONNA! now, DANCER! now, _PAULA and VIXEN!
On, CARMEN! on CUPID , on DEE-DEE and BRITTON!
To the top of the stage! to the top of the pole!
Now strip away! strip away! strip away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they met with the pole, they mount to the sky,
So up the main stage like eagles they flew,
With the bag full of props, and Pimp Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the stage
The prancing and pawning of ho's in their cage
As I drew a 5 in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the catwalk Pimp Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of bills he had flung on his back,
Some 20’s, some 50’s just pulled from VIXEN’S crack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dancers how merry!
Ass cheeks like roses, crotch smells like cherry!
His droll little nose was drawn up like a bow,
And the lines on his mirror were as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a thick necklace and a shiny gold tooth,
His posse was many, they filled up a booth.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old playa,
And I asked when I saw him, “do you mind if I staya?”
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the ho’s stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Inhaling quite deeply, the blow quickly rose;
He sprang to his feet, to his girls gave the sign,
“No tags on the limo, you gonna pay the fine? Bitch.”
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“HAPPY STRIP-OFF TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT.”
Ho! Ho! Ho!
