At last I am me again 17th October 2007. 1 year & 5 months after surgery.
At last I am me again. Since Friday I have not been aware of barometric pressure changes so it is like being free again. Free to think and do anything, at anytime rather than when a period of static pressure allows. Also my focussing has normalised so I can tolerate something in my near vision whilst looking at something distant.
Somethings, I am pleased to say will never change. For instance the confidence has not been erroded and I still no longer feel fear in the pit of the stomach. Instead of getting deja vu I just get deja jour, like I have lived through this day before, not through routine but down to the outside situation of the air and weather. It is hard to describe and not unpleasant.
I have just overcome the speaking before thinking problem because that had, on occasion, landed me either in someone's black books or caused me embarassment if it was written and posted. So even though this may seem a long time to recover then everyone heals differently and everyone has different problems with life in general to overcome on top of the actual recovering from surgery. Also not everyone has the misfortune to have had a problem due to a birth defect so it is hoped that it will not put anyone off having surgery, the length of time it has taken me to heal fully that is, because I would not go back to being in a dream world with staring eyes which apparently used to 'freak people out'. That is what a friend confided the other week. When I noticed my eyes on a video taken a long time ago I told her about it and that is what she said. I guess I never noticed people avoiding me before or feeling uncomfortable. So it is nice to notice things but a shame it has not changed my poor judge of characters. I am a bit soft for a sob story still but it has not been my undoing and I can get over things like that more so now that I could before.
Well, I guess this it finally it. So, I shall always be thankful in indebted to my dear surgeon for his work and of course his colleagues and staff. It is now one year and five month since my last seizure. Bliss of blisses and thank you again.
