Over 16,535,758 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

carebear's blog: "how?"

created on 09/21/2006  |  http://fubar.com/how/b4710

as most of you know...

As most of you know I found out that I was pregnant I haven't been online in awhile and sorry for not writing anyone been kind of busy and didn't want to write all of this till now. I miscarried the baby oct. 29th of 2006 I was in the hospital from 1-6pm at night justin the father of the baby was there the whole time for me every step of the way thank god for him including afterwords to take care of me and make sure i was going to be ok. I kept on blaiming myself for what happened and thinking that I could have done something to make it so it didn't happen or that I did something wrong and he told me the whole time that it wasn't my fault I then found out two weeks later at the hospital (I was in extreme pain) that I had a uterus infection and that they think that is what killed the baby if that is the case i don't know but either way my health is doing a lot better now. When I was at the hospital I was hemeraging a lot and lost a lot of blood and all I could do was cry and hope that it all stopped and ask god what i did wrong to make this happen I don't really have any clue as to what the answer is. But either way I am doing better now and there have been many people that have helped me threw this rough time in my life. Other then that. Things are going good at home I have 2 new kittens that are now with me one is mine and the other is a friends that I am taking care of till I get a place the one that is mine is named kiana justin picked it out when he got out of jail and i liked it so we kept the name. Justin is now engaged how long it will last who knows but either way I hope he is happy. We don't really talk to much anymore because of this but I am hoping at some point we will be. And as well as all of that I might have a new bf soon if everything works out his name is jayson I went out with him for 3 years in the past and loved him a lot but in the end we were fighting and I was pushing myself away so i broke it off so that I could change myself cause I didn't like the person I had become to him he was always very sweet towards me and loved me very much and we have stayed friends this past year that he has had a gf but threw it all we still love eachother very much and have been talking about the possibility of him breaking up with his gf and going back out with me cause of this. I know sounds awful of me but he has known for awhile that he dosn't love his gf and has been wanting to break it off with her he just dosn't know how and he has made the decision to do it now and get back with me cause it dosn't matter what we seem to do lol we can't seem to stop loving eachother no matter what happens. He makes me very happy and I love him a lot and can't wait for the day that it actually happens i told him I am not waiting forever and that he needs to grow some balls and break it off already and he understands where i am coming from that i am not going to wait around forever and if he wants me he has till the 5th of january to break it off with her otherwise I am not waiting any longer. I don't enjoy being alone and I want someone to just love me for me and be good to me and I am hoping he will be the one to do this for me. I will always have a part of my heart for justin I did love him very much but he dosn't want to be with me and I am not going to beat myself up over it so I am moving on with my life and hopefully making it better. I will write more later sorry to everyone that it has taken so long for me to get on here.
Leave a comment!
html comments NOT enabled!
NOTE: If you post content that is offensive, adult, or NSFW (Not Safe For Work), your account will be deleted.[?]

giphy icon
last post
17 years ago
posts
6
views
1,383
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

recent posts

17 years ago
my first ultraound
17 years ago
pregnant 2
17 years ago
pregnant
17 years ago
hello
17 years ago
don't know anymore
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 11 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.055 seconds on machine '80'.