Helly's blog: "stuff"

I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some bitch in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down the number. 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first cunt(I had her number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW cunt too. 
I said, 'Is this the lady with the black BMW for sale?' 
She said, 'Yes, it is.' 
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' 
Shee said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.' 
I asked, 'What's your name?' 
She said, 'My name is Daisy Hansen.' 
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Daisy?' 
She said, 'I'm home every evening after five. 
I said, 'Listen, Daisy, can I tell you something?' 
She said, 'Yes?' 
I said, 'Daisy, you're a cunt!'
Then I hung up, and added her number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two cunts to call. Then I came up with an idea.......
I called cunt #1.
She said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're a cunt !' (But I didn't hang up.

 She asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah.'
She screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'
She asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Daisy Hansen.'
She said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, cunt, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
'She said, 'I'm coming over right now, . And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, cunt!' and hung up.

Then I called cunt #2.
she said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, asshole.'
she yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
she exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass!'
I answered, 'Well, cunt, here's your chance... I'm coming over right now!'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my lesbian lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax . I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two cunts beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead News helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

Anger management does work 

I feel much better