5 years is a long time especially when that time is spent being inlove with someone who cant see you for the gift you are. 5 years is a long time to be told your a worthless bitch a cunt that you arnt pretty that the only thing you have going for you is your fuckable I heard it so often i even started to believe it so many times I heard I love you I dont love you your nothing and yet for some reason I played his perfect victim... Id start to grow a backbone and hed be sweet forawile it never lasted long mind you just long enough to reel me back in just long enough for me to feel happy and safe then itd start all over. Bye the time i relized itd never change it was to late becuse he had convinced me already that it was all i deserved... odd huh? Ive always been a strong woman and yet love made me into a groveling idiot who belived all the cruel words he said.... well 4 days ago i finally clued in the catalyst was something so simple ...the straw broke the camels back?? it all started innocently enough started with a small argument over wasting my time in his oppion on helping a friend when I could be spending that time doing shit for him mind you this was shit i wasnt asked to do and had no clue at all he wanted done that is untill i was already busy..... it started a small argument it never even realy manage to esculate it was something he said just kind of clicked something home in my head .... my friend is going through a bad relationship her man was beating her i was trying to convince her that she was to good for that kind of abuse that she should cut anchor and run that noone deserved to be hurt and belittled like that ((haha right?))and was trying to explain to robbie this and that i couldnt just hang up on her she needed me... and what he said in response set off a kind of epiphany in me his response and its so simple and so true theres nothing anyone can do to help her until she realizes shes better then that so stop being stupid and wasting your time on someone who lets her man keep treating her like shit smarten the fuck up you stupid bitch...... and suddenly it was almost like the world stood still you see robbie never hit me not once and my understanding of being abused was being hit and id never let a man hit me so in my eyes i believed i wasn't being abused until that moment .. then things just kind of snapped into place memorys of him fucking me as i cried because he was hurting me and him cumming as he watched the tears fall memorys of all the cruel things he said all rushed in punctuated bye that your wasting your time you stupid bitch and i realized i was wasting my time i was wasteing my time loving a man who made me feel small i was wasteing my time trying to convince him i was worth treating right bam i understood it was a waste of time to be with him you see i understood finally that i shouldn't have to convince anyone what iam worth if they cant see it for themselfs and treat me as i deserve they are a waste of my time..... i didnt yell i didnt cry i didnt fight i just told him your right iam wasting my time i have been wasting my time on you 5 years trying to convince of what im worth when it isnt me thats worthless goodbye ....and I left
