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EnlightenedOsote's blog: "FUNNY"

created on 06/26/2007  |  http://fubar.com/funny/b95923

Analogies and Metaphors

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. - John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. - He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. - Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. - Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. - The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. - The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. - He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something. - The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. - It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools. - He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. - Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. - She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. - Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening. - It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
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