Shavani's blog: "My Poetry"

Ambivalence consumes me
Love and hate war within my head
Drawn and yet repulsed
I'm filled with constant dread

I yearn for his affection
Yet I don't want him near me
If I can't have his full attention
I don't want any of it.

His half-hearted attempts to please me
Only make me want him less
His unwilling touch sickens me
This much I will confess.

While he sleeps beside me
I gaze upon his face
A jumble of emotions fill me
My heart begins to race

Why do I even want him
Does anybody know?
Yet if I don't want him
Why do my tears flow?


Copyright V.A.R.D. 2005