ok, so i sat down here today with numb fingers and toes from the bitter cold air that has been prying its way through the fabric wrapping i layered on my carcass this morning like an armor piercing warhead. but obviously, i didnt layer it quite thick enough on my feet this morning, in the future i promise my toes that i will pay closer attention to their needs. i feel like i have neglected them and as a result they are now complaining and nagging by sending the numbing sensation style inpulses to my brain like a huge pile of spam emails and filling my cranial inbox with unwanted reminders. i know, i know. you only have to tell me once. ive learned how to follow the directions. ive learned how to make you happy, sometimes at the expense of my own contentment. i tend to give. i tend to supply the demand like some chinese factory filled with underpaid, prepubescent line workers continuously cranking out this years trinket fad wonder craze all the while never quite making enough to put the rice on the table. rationing the groceries. giving and giving and working and working. until one day theyre dead and have nothing to show for all of their labor except the millions of crushed, discolored and discarded trinkets filling the landfills of our wonderful consuming country. it all seems pointless. it all seems like a complete waste of time. people struggling. people striving for that security and happiness that they have never been able to find. humans breaking their back for others day after day only to be unappreciated and taken advantage of without a second thought. feelings and compassion thrown away like a used tissue without batting an eye. dog eat dog. consumption for the good of yourself at the expense of whoever or whatever gets in the way or dares to question the motive behind such actions. the world could end tomorrow and we all may die with a huge chuck of humanity never taking the time to think about anything but whats inside their own head or whats happening inside their poorly decorated filthy ass living room. we keep killing each other with selfishness. we keep killing each other without thinking twice. we keep burning and stealing and tearing the hearts out of one another like we were ordering a big mac value meal with extra secret sauce and an apple pie on the side. we keep tearing it down without building it back up. face it, we hate each other. we talk trash. we downgrade, belittle, and supersize every single day in an subconcious attempt to bandage our own feelings of insufficiency while we ride the big ol' blue marble as it endlessly spins on its invisable axis day after day. one of these days shes gonna get pissed and fed up, only to shake us off like an old hounddog and a pile of fleas. shes gonna scratch that itch.
