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I just e-mailed my advisor for the 4th time. She's responded to me once, and that was only to say that she was sick when I wanted to meet her... I'm getting frustrated and it's moving to the point of not giving a damn anymore. Last time that happened I really fucked myself over in school but in all honesty it's hard to be interested in classes that are meant for freshmen and that I have taken all before, with a passing grade. My old school was on quarters and because the terms are shorter than the semesters here I only have 2 credits for a lot of my classes when I need 3 instead. This is leaving me to take every single class I've ever taken AGAIN in order to get one credit from the entirety of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to be back in school and excited to be able to do something I'll love one day, but the one course I have related to my major is still only a 100 level and it's freaking online! I have 3 classes every Tuesday and Thursday and the majority of my 10 hour day is spent sitting around campus waiting for the next class.. 

Supposedly Morgan Freeman's response to the recent shooting..."You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.

It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard whi

le the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news."

Rest in Peace: Dawn Hochsprung, Mary Sherlach (56), Victoria Soto (27), Anne Marie Murphy (52), Lauren Rousseau (30), Nancy Lanza (52), Rachel Davino (29), Charlotte Bacon (6), Daniel Barden (7), Olivia Engel (6) , Josephine Gay (7), Ana M. Marquez-Greene (6),Dylan Hockley (6), Madeleine F. Hsu ( 6), Catherine V. Hubbard (6), 
Chase Kowalski (7), Jesse Lewis (6), James Mattioli (6), Grace McDonnell (7),
Emilie Parker (6), Jack Pinto (6), Noah Pozner (6), Caroline Previdi (6), Jessica Rekos 6), Avielle Richman (6), Benjamin Wheeler (6) Allison N. Wyatt (6)

a fun work tale

Two black guys (don't call me racist, how else can I put this into context?) came in to my work today and put a huge smile on my face. Once they walked in the one looked at me awestruck and said "so you're telling me I can come in here to get a tan and then send some mail?!" I laughed and replied "yep, do you want to tan after this.. you're looking a little pasty". Perhaps somewhere else this would have upset someone but State College is a strange little community. He then pointed out that people tanned because they're trying to obtain his skin tone. Touche sir! They came in to send a phone back and had everything they needed but no clue what to do with it. We found the shipping label, put the phone in the box, I slapped a piece of tape on it with the shipping label on top and said that's all there is to it. I told them if my boss was there I'd have to charge them $1 for 'packaging services' but I frankly think that's obscene for a piece of tape and 3 minutes of labor.  Just a typical day of tanning and postal servicing.

Animal Cruelty

My neighbors have three dogs. They got Becca  (the dog I have a picture of) a year ago and were taking good care of her. Soon after they brought home a pitbull who was forced to live outside in the backyard. He has gotten loose several times and attacked our dog Max, the pound has yet to do anything about it except make them get a second dog house. Now they have a third dog that is a little toy thing that they spoil while their first two dogs starve and freeze in the backyard. Whenever Becca gets off her leash she runs over to my families house and she was over here for 3 days recently before they even noticed she was gone. We want to keep her because you can see her ribs and she practically no meat on her tailbone. They came over today and asked us not to take Becca off her leash anymore and we told the neighbor she runs over for food when she breaks it, we can't stop her. The lady said whatever and claimed she fed the dogs twice a day... I miss that dog and I'm gonna steal her before I move to PA because no one human or animal deserves that treatment.

writing

just lyrics.. poems.. whatever they may become.

 

I am in need with a hunger to feed I may beg and I may plead but ever since addiction planated its seed it seems my mind may never be freed. We are a different breed, us so called losers stuck on booze, drugs, n weed. Well that may be indeed for those of who wave like a reed but with my heart I will exceeed, and no more red my veins will bleed. Nothing in the future can be guaranteed, and I always know that dope has the greed to intercede no matter what life I may lead.To my disease I will not concede. but if my mistakes I do heed and to my fathers will I will accede I know that I will succeed.

a change

"A change can do you good"

 

If you know anything about me then this blog will make sense to you, especially if you read the one I have listed on my profile. But my family sees it and I want a place to share more honestly. I guess I trust this because few of you will bother to read my babble.

Anyway, I just moved to North Carolina from Ohio. It's been a plan of mine for some time now and with recent events back home I felt I could no longer survive there. My mom is abusing painkillers and for a while relied on me to get them. I didn't tell her I was getting them from my old friend who used to get me dope so the opportunity was always there. I resisted for the longest time, he was considerate to the fact that I was getting clean but one night I can't even recall the date of now he offered me some for free. I took it. I was feeling so lonely at home living with my grandparents stuck in time waiting for my move and waiting for a change in my luck. Maybe I was doing the wrongs at home and could have stayed but my cravings were incredibly difficult to control when I was so familiar with the area.

Down here in NC now and have been clean since that day. By clean I mean I am taking my medicine as prescribed and continuing to smoke weed (a plant, damn it) as usual. I feel better, I feel less confused about things and more optimistic. I got a flat on the way down and have to get my tire firxed so I still have a feeling of being stuck but that'll all be fixed tomorrow. 

Wow it feels really great to say all this. Thanks for listening little white box.

Southern Fried Summer

Well I just got back from North Carolina and I had a real good time. My family invited me to stay with them just like they've been trying to do since I was 8 and I think I'm finally ready for it. I feel selfish but I'm making a decision for myself and I think it would be best. I love the south. Everyone is so much friend, they have shrimp sauce, and so many other things. My family there is still crazy but I've got 3 houses to run to, school to take care of, a job to find, a really great southern gentleman who I think I'm really starting to like. I have honestly never been treated so well in all my life by a man.

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