A NOTE TO SELF,
I don't know what else to do. I am filled with emotions that wants to break free. All raw and intense. I have not let go of everything that happened to me as a child and through the years past. I have tried my best to forgive those that had harmed me and little family. Most of all, the 1 person that really needs forgiving is ME. How can you forgive yourself of all the decision made and choices taken. How can you forgive yourself when you have a chance to help others and yet for some strange reason couldn't. I have given all that I have to my kids and relatives(that speaks to me). All that I ask in return is a thank you or help in return. I am constantly giving money out when I barely have any for my own little family. Is there a thing really called karma. I just kept wondering if there is one. If there is then I wonder what i have done to cause such heartache and trouble.
Maybe what I should do is half of the opposite of who I am. Maybe I should not care as much and help as much and then , maybe then, I will have more.
But I know myself. I cannot not care. I cannot not help. I cannot be greedy.
I may be mean at times and that is only for good reasons. That is if I feel that the other person is being selfish and mean.
Now is that wrong!
